“If you forget everything, just remember this. We shall descend as eagles, move as swift as gazelles, we will fight as lions. For at the end of the day, all that you see is the settling of the dust…and all that you hear…is the howling of the wind." – Col Bernard Tan
Please join us in remembering our dear friend, Bernard, who has given us such wonderful memories and taught us so much, but who has left us so unexpectedly.
Do write your own thoughts and memories, however brief. They will help us all at this time.
Simply write in the "Leave a reply" box below, and press "Submit Comment" when you are finished. You can save and return to this link to view other posts each day.
Bernard, these are some of the many ways we will always remember you.
March 29, 2006 at 3:22 am |
Bernard was such a highly-regarded man in the army and well accomplished in his work roles, and yet to us close friends, he was just Bernard Tan – a livewire at parties, with a voice so loud and energising you could hear it miles away, with quacky ideas that we often laughed off (ai yah, another one of Bernard's projects), with a heart and mind so willing to be read like an open book, a connector of so many people and lives in different places and time, a creative individual who could live spontaneously (Carpe Diem!). Such a person as him is missed so quickly when not around. Bernard, we rejoice in your eternal life with Jesus, but we mourn your loss here on earth. Your family is in our care – I know you would have ordered that for us.
April 1, 2006 at 4:51 pm |
So many things to remember about him, so this is only one of many many entries thats gonna be written here…
Probably his love for food is best remembered. All that pork knuckles at Baden, Ba Cho Mee at Siglap, Pepper Crab at Sin Huat, Italian at Porta Porta etc… Think he conquered most of the makan places in sg liao…
If not that he signed on in the Army, think he would have opened a chain of restaurants (with lots of Edinger beer).
April 2, 2006 at 12:17 am |
I would like to dedicate this POEM to Bernard:
Bernard Tan
A Man with VISION
With Firm DECISIONS
A Man who rules by the BOOK
and manages with the HEART
A Call to serve his NATION
and GUARDSMAN by VOCATION
A man who loves FOOTBALL
and always on the BALL
His Family is his PASSION
Giving them undivided ATTENTION
Do not cry for Bernard
for he is a man who loves GOD
a place in HEAVEN is given by the LORD
With a heavy and sorrowful heart
I bid thee FAREWELL
My Command, My Mentor, My Friend
April 2, 2006 at 5:58 am |
EULOGY FOR BERNARD – 31 MAR 06
Wan Cheng, Claire, Cayla. Bernard’s family. Friends.
We are here today to remember, to honour and to celebrate the life of our dear friend Bernard. We should not regret that he was taken away so suddenly. Or so soon. Though he may just have turned 39 last Friday, he lived a full life. In fact, knowing him, he can be quite greedy, he probably lived more than his fair share of the time God had blessed him with! He probably lived more than some of us would in our life time.
Let me share what I see as four key aspects about Bernard.
First. Bernard loved our Lord and sought to be Christ-like in all that he did. It is patently clear from these few days’ proceedings to know that Bernard has been tremendous witness for our Lord. When he was a Company Commander, he wrote as part of his objectives and I read:
“I hope to fulfil the Sandhurst motto ‘Serve to Lead’. To serve God and other so that I will be spiritually and physically equipped to lead…I hope to be like King David where, and he quotes from 1 Samuel 22:2, ‘everyone who was in distress, and everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was discontented, gathered to him, and he became captain over them.’ ”
Indeed, Bernard touched the lives of many. Let me read an excerpt amongst the many stories that I have received.
This was posted by an unknown Military Policeman, a Corporal who works in MINDEF. “Despite being a high-ranking officer, COL Tan always replied to my greetings to him whether if he was on the phone or even if he was coming out of the canteen. He never let his rank or appointment become a barrier to speaking with us NSFs or even to anyone, and had always came across to me as an officer truly deserving my respect.”
Kian Hong, whom Bernard loved and respected deeply, said that “as a Christian, he is unafraid to share his faith on words and in action. He is a true disciple and I can see Christ through him and his life.”
Bernard has fought the good fight, and finished the course…he has kept the faith. I am sure that Last Sunday morning, our Lord said to Bernard, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things: enter into the joy of your master.”
Secondly, I want Wan Cheng, Claire and Cayla to know that Bernard loves you all deeply.
Master Warrant Officer Chandran wrote: “I recalled him saying how much he missed his daughter during the hectic National Day Parade schedule in year 2003. He was almost in tears when he recollected what his daughter had asked him…’daddy, are you going out again, I miss you’”.
Keith, Bernard’s assistant and secretary in 3 Gds wrote: “He loved his family tremendously, and I know he struggled with balancing his commitment as Commanding Officer (CO) of 3 Gds and his role as a new father in 1999, when Claire was born…today, as a young father myself, I find myself inadvertently comparing myself to COL Bernard. I’m sure he was a good father, and I want to be one too.”
Thirdly, Bernard was a man of his word. Or indeed, a man of many words and quotes ad nauseum!
We in the Army did not realise what we were in for! From his sister, Winnie’s description, it was clear that from young, Bernard had practised long and hard on his quotable quotes. I will say this, Bernard is the only person I know who without the blink of an eye, can make your hair stand on end with his quotes. It’s not easy, but he is able to do this on a regular basis. Let me share with you some.
Bernard will tell his staff officers, and I don’t know where on earth he got this from, “When the Command cries, the staff wipes his tears…”
His perspective on management: “I give you a velvet glove, but know that there is an Iron Fist.”
To Bernard, Leadership is about the Beauty of the “and”, not the tyranny of the “or”.
And his infamous closing remarks that he has often used in summing up after presenting his orders during a mission: “If you forget everything, just remember this. We shall descend as eagles, move as swift as gazelles, we will fight as lions. For at the end of the day, all that you see is the settling of the dust…and all that you hear…is the howling of the wind. Sometimes it worked, such as when he first unleashed it to his unsuspecting audience during Ex Firefox while at Battalion Tactics Course; I believe Ishak, who is here today, even applauded! Even Wan Cheng knows about this and had asked him why he kept using it when so many of us might be bored with hearing it for the umpteenth time. I think he really wasn’t too concerned about us victims. He probably thought that he should expose more people to it.
Lastly, let me share on what Bernard means to our Army. And what our Army meant to Bernard.
Bernard was an impressive officer and leader. He was charismatic and inspiring. He was a warrior and he was an outstanding staff officer. Full of ideas, conviction, passion. Integrity. In the many conversations we had together, I know he stood for his values and what he believed in. He was prepared to chiong to look after servicemen and championed for their interests. Often, many of those whom he helped never knew who had made the difference for them and how far he went to look after them.
Bernard’s legacy as I see it, is the difference he has made to people. He developed and inspired many of our young officers and warrant officers and specialists. He always put people first, always.
Many of us will recall Bernard’s speech, “Putting People First in our Transformation Army” in Army Workplan 04. In it, he covered many of his ideas on how to put people first. He asked a series of questions then.
“How well do we know our people? Do we know what make them say, stay and strive? Do we give them a reason to join, a reason to give?
What about Fulltime National Serviceman? Do we see their 2 years as a career, or a liability?
What about National Servicemen? While we expect them to put on uniforms, defend our way of life, fight for our birthright, are we equally concerned about how they are doing in their work place, how are they doing with their families?
And in his last paragraphs, he wrote:
“I fainted recently while running, and have been diagnosed with ventricular tachy cardia. Before my treatment procedure, my cardiologist quipped, at times like these, you will know your true worth…I was worth an A (class) ward.
But what really moved me was knowing my worth to my soldiering community, the acts of love and words of encouragement from my boss and ex-bosses. All of them ordered me to rest well. My COs promised to stay out of trouble. My staff vouched to hold the fort while at 7 SIB. My clerk Choon Ping and 3 Gds S3 Seet took over and wrote my speech. My personal assistant Zhiwei fetched me home in his dad’s car. I have many people I want to thank, many I am thankful for. And yes, Chief of Army sent me a personal get-well card.
This, is family.
Family, I think, is the final estimation of worth. No matter how much the world changes, there is still family. No matter how much the Army transforms, it is still our Army.”
Bernard recovered fully from his illness and was given a clean bill of health awhile ago, sometime last year. He trained well and was fully fit. Bernard took part in the biathlon because of what it stood for. Challenge, perseverance, courage, discipline, camaraderie…things that we believe in in Our Army. We should respect and honour Bernard’s choice in living his life to the fullest, in doing the things he loved.
That morning, while Hong Tat was wearing his swimming cap, Bernard was asking if he would swim faster if the cap was drawn over his ears or not! While running and chatting just before he collapsed, one of the things they discussed was how good the route markings were and that it should be used for the Army Half Marathon later this year.
Bernard chose this tag line for the latest Army commercial, something which he had just completed and you would get to see it in July or so. “In the race of life, live to be your best.”
To us all in the Army, let us honour Bernard by reflecting on his life and how in our own way, in our lives, how to live to be our best. That will be Bernard’s legacy to all of us.
And to Wan Cheng, Claire, Cayla, we want you to know that we love Bernard dearly and that you should be so very proud of him. Bernard is a good man, husband and father, a Godly man. He is now with our Lord. And in time, we will all meet up again.
April 2, 2006 at 8:16 am |
COL Bernard believed that “to Command is one of life’s greatest emotions”, and he certainly lived true to his words. Yet today, we are all filled profoundly with an emotion that is at once inexpressible and unbearable.
I have not thanked him enough for being my “moulder of dreams”, my mentor, my teacher, my coach, my commander, my cousellor, my leader.
As a Battalion Commander, during ATEC’s last mission, he walked up to his Trailblazer Platoon and told the PC, “Follow me”. No wonder we got REDCON 1.
As a Brigade Commander, he would tell his OCs, to “Put Our People First”, and the excellent results and positive experience we had is testimony to his transformational influence on us all.
The times he shared with us his passion for life, for his work, for his family, how he would expound his zeal for living, will always be etched in our hearts and seared in our memories.
What was his legacy? To me, it was his passion for life, for his Giver of life, and most importantly, for the people in his life.
When I ran past him that morning, he smiled, waved and cheered me on. I was so glad to see him. He was jogging at a comfortable pace, enjoying himself, as always. I would never have guessed…
How do we move on from here? How may I comfort when the loss is so great? When can we stop grieving?
I found that the answer was not to focus on what we have lost, but to focus on what I have gained from this relationship, so as to pass it on, and on. I will tell my son Iain that there was an Uncle Bernard who so profoundly changed his daddy’s life, and touched it so intently, that he should grow up to continue his legacy of influencing men of all walks of life to live inspired lives.
He taught me to “Love your men, but more importantly, teach them to love themselves.” And so we love him, because he first loved us.
April 2, 2006 at 9:38 am |
Just remembered another incident during NDP 2003. It was in the afternoon of 9 Aug 2003 when I received an sms from Bernard. It read :” I am wearing red underwear today!” Wah lao… hair stand man! I even took a pic of that sms (too bad I cant download the pic here). Thats bernard… so nonsensical but lovable….
April 2, 2006 at 11:58 am |
Someone once told me lefthanded people tend to be more creative than righthanded people, never thought it was true until I got a chance to work to you. I will never forget the funny looks you gave me during meetings when someone comes out with a weird concept, amazing how someone can juggle between the roles of a commander, show chairman, loyal friend to many and the coolest boss to me. Should have went to watch starwars with you even though i watched it already … and of course between you and me, I will never forget that day 9th of August 2003 when we shook hands on the field after the parade, what u said to me kept me going, and it was then I realised how fortunate I am to work for a great man like you. God Bless you sir, we all love you.
April 3, 2006 at 6:49 pm |
I was one of his many men in the 9th Mono Intake Guards Battalion, where he left a deep impression. I didn’t speak to him much as we seldom crossed paths. However, there was one occasion that I still remember vividly after many years. Me, being one of lowest rank in the Battalion, greet my superiors whenever I see them. Most of them acknowledged with a smile or simply a nod. Anyway, one morning I walked passed COL Bernard (MAJ Bernard then), greeted him good morning. He stopped to ask how was my day. It was rather early, so I replied ‘So far so good sir’. He laughed and said ‘Good. I hope it will stay like this for you’. I didn’t expect him to chat with a lowly soldier, well, not many senior ranks would do that.
Another time was during a 10km run at East Coast. I ran passed him at some point, I wanted to slow down as I was out of breathe. Immediately, he urged me not to, and ‘DO NOT embarrass Guards, there are many other units around’ (his exact words). Shocked that he was right behind me, I ran to finishing line with new found energy. I was pleasantly surprised that he took part in the run when my own CSM, bothered to change into PT kit, but stayed behind at the starting point. (I am not trying to take a swipe at my then CSM, but he should have more pride as a leader)
Sad to say, I didn’t have the chance to get to know him well. I remembered him as a compassionate person, obviously smart and most of all, a leader who leads by example.
April 4, 2006 at 1:36 am |
Of all the NDPs i covered during my short 4-year career as a journalist, the one with Bernard was my most memorable. We didn’t just work well together – we ‘clicked’ like old friends would and I enjoyed my entire time TREMENDOUSLY. What touched me most was how UNOFFICIOUS he was. He was a proud man in uniform yet he never let his head get big even when he became a colonel. I saw how he got along with his men – it was so clear that they had the greatest respect for him. Alex, we had a good time together didn’t we?
Bernard was always humourous and down to earth. And yes, Alex, I remember that red underwear SMS. I mean, which boss would send you such an SMS???? Bernard made me laugh and touched me with his warmth and his love for God.
GOD BLESS HIM. He must now be up in Heaven looking at us as we carry on our lives. I pray that his family will be strong and thrive on the memory of this amazing man.
GUYS —- let us remember Bernard by living our lives like his – of sincerity, generosity and warmth.
April 4, 2006 at 3:44 pm |
Yes Bridgette, thats bernard alright! You should have been there at Mandai on Fri (but im sure you felt it in Darwin). It was the grandest farewell ever! Some of us said that Bernard would have been pretty ‘hao lian’ about the whole affair and all…! And though it was raining heavily in the afternoons for the past few days, that Fri had blue skies, white clouds and warm sunshine. In the past, Bernard would have said that he prayed to God for good weather. But this time round, he probably convince God to let him take over the weather for the day (that sneaky guy!). And knowing him, he’ll throw in a heavy shower or two just to remind me that I owed him a church visit….
Yes sir… I’m going… I’m going…
April 4, 2006 at 4:57 pm |
On Sun morning when Nash send me an sms to say that COL Bernard is hospitalised due to heart attack and asked whether I want to visit him. I told him no problem just let me know wat time to meet. Next thing I know in about 10 mins time, I received a call from Comd, LTC Nelson that COL Bernard had passed away. I just couldn’t believe it. In fact for the rest of the whole week, when I was busy preparing his military funeral, I still had that feeling that it was joke and I was just having a nightmare.
Just one week ago, he emailed and reminded me to visit the Late Sgt Hu’s family as his mother has some concern about his second brother. He is always so concern about others, despite Sgt Hu has passed away for a few years.
Although I have never worked directly under him, but being in the Guards Fmn for almost 11 years, and looking at his passion when he organised NDP 03 and the way he manages HR issues, you know he is a man who is sincere and true. He cares for the people and alot of people have gained alot of knowledge (especially from his quotations).
From him we all have learnt “Give your best time to your family and not the leftovers”.
Sir, all of us are going to miss you. We will miss your smile and your quotes. We will always remember you.
April 5, 2006 at 1:49 am |
A man of wisdom. A man of many quotes. And I mean MANY. So much so that many of us sometimes of us even wonder if you eats quotes for breakfast, lunch, dinner. Oh yes, and supper too. Nasir actually planned to “steal” one of your “little black notebooks” to see what other quotes you keep inside them =)
….”Be the change you want to see”…. “If you are hungry, go and eat…” and of course his copyrighted “….what you see is nothing but the settling of the dusting…..you’ll hear nothing… but the howling of the wind…”
Leading by example is no easy task. You did it. You have shown us the way, even till today – to live your life to the fullest – “LIVE-Ing your Best”.
Sir, thank you…..i will remember you, always…..
April 6, 2006 at 12:40 am |
The other day, I delivered the eulogy on behalf of my aunt and claire and cayla, and i truly believe my uncle Bernard was there with me throughout the whole speech.
Because i went to him in the morning and got him to pray with me, and i asked him to carry me upon his shoulder as he used to, to give me the strength of heart and mind, to deliver the eulogy the way he delivered his inspiring speeches…
And I trembled not one bit during the service, and an indescribable sense of peace settled upon my entire being, and not one second did he allow my emotions to overcome me, nor permit any tears to reach my eyes, and i delivered the eulogy the best way i knew how, the way i would have thought he’d like it, and I’m so proud of myself, because Claire approved.
Also strangely, as i was carrying Cayla during the walk behind the hearse under the scorching sun, and the burden of her weight was beginning to weigh down upon me – and i asked him to help me out abit – there was an immediate gust of wind, and a few drizzles of raindrops, to which my mum swore she didn’t feel.
And when the sun was shining so brightly through the skylight in the auditorium, making it impossible to see the images projected on the screen, almost all at once again, the clouds begin to gather and the auditorium remained dim throughout the ceremony.
And there were so many people at the wake, they came in the thousands, from those who met him once, or worked with him for years, or fought with him for a few months. And it warmed my heart with love and pride and awe to see the amount of lives he had touched.
Koo, I love you, and i miss you, but i believe that our relationship does not end at death but reaches its perfection. This is the hope that buoys my spirits. These next days, weeks, months, and years will prove my hope to be true. For my relationship with you will grow more intimate in my reflection and recollection. Indeed, I have already come to experience a better understanding and appreciation of you, and I can now say things in my heart that I was afraid to share with you when you were here.
I hope that we can go on living as you did.
I hope that we not regret what might have been and live in the present with great hope for the future.
Indeed “my love is to you, ah kim, claire and cayla, as your love is to me”
And I will try to be to Claire and Cayla, what you were and have been to to me.
And I look to that fine day when I will see you again, all weariness gone, clear of mind, strong and sure, and smiling again, and the sorrow of your parting gone forever.
April 6, 2006 at 1:14 am |
Hi Wan Cheng Ah kim,
I am beginning to think that the world is small only because we are all connected to each other through han koo koo.
I received this email from my school counsellor today, and thought i’d share it with you and all friends as well:
..hope you are holding up yourself..one of my cell group members worked under your uncle in mindef before and she was sharing with us how much she felt the loss..let my words be few and our Father’s words take over..
“though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet i will rejoice in the Lord, i will be joyful in God my Saviour. Hab 3:17-18
“Your path led through the sea, Your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen.” Ps 77:19
vincent chia
school counsellor
henderson sec sch
April 6, 2006 at 10:57 pm |
Bernard will always have a place in my heart … in him I see my late uncle, who too was an inspiration and motivation to me, especially in my very early childhood years. I believe Bernard was God-sent to do great things – personally for me … to lead me to Salvation, which my late uncle did not managed to do, coincidentally also during his short 39 years of life. Though I have known Bernard for some twenty years, since the UK days, me – a young punk cadet in Sandhurst and him a happy-go-lucky undergrad, it was not in the last two years that our paths were to cross again, interwined and God Will, for him to leave an idelible mark in my life … Bernard has not only touched many lives … but more amazingly he has touch a life in many ways. So much so that be it in office, at the pool, on the running track, in the Mess etc … i still see him and feel that he is still there with us, with me every day. He and his infectious grin.
He will always be that “Lao Hiao” to me (that will be story for another day) … but not in a proud but rather in an inspirational and confident manner. He was different, he was christ-like, he manifested all that the Scripture is saying to us and even with his passing, he continues to do so …
“Bless are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” Mat 5:4 …
April 7, 2006 at 5:26 am |
On the morning, at the hospital porch, when i looked up into the sky, praying for a sign that all will be ok, i saw the cloud opened and a bright light like that of a sun shining for a full few minutes. That was the time they proclaimed that Bernard’s passing. Han, i know you at home with the Lord now – for the window of God’s home was opened for you on that day; so pray for us, especially for Wan Cheng and Claire and Cayla and mum. I love you always and i know you hear me.
April 7, 2006 at 7:15 am |
I would like to share an excerpt from a book I bought…
” Yell- God can take it!! The “blaming of God” is a prayer itself. When we blame God for things, we are acknowledging that God is active and present in our lives, even if we misunderstood God’s ways. ”
Han, thanks for the good and bad times….celebrating the sacrament of reconciliation today has given me complete peace and release….Go and rest in peace, I am fine.
April 9, 2006 at 8:40 am |
That I sat down and googled Bernard’s name says enough. I am so glad to have found Sze Mying’s and this site.
I first met Bernard 5 years ago when I produced the 35 years of NS book with him (he was then at JMPD). Subsequently, he got me involved with NDP 2003 when the book Things that Make Us Singaporean was produced.
The thing is this. Years ago, I was attending Church of Our Savior, hanging out with the same friends of Bernard and Wan Cheng’s. I then switched to St George’s Church (because I missed the traditional hymn singing). This was before Bernard went to COOS. If I had nor swopped church, our paths would have crossed earlier, and the chances are that we would have become frineds – and as friends, we would not have had the opportunity to do those projects together – work which I know (although we never said it) Bernard and I are immensely proud of.
In our professional relationship, we were friendly, and I grew fond of him. But I felt I had to keep an arm’s length. He was aware of it too, I think. When we had lunch meetings, he always paid because he said he did not want to compromise either one of our positions.
It was only when we discovered that Claire and my daughter, Gillian, would be in the same P1 class in MGS that we could be friendly in that context.
I felt, feel, a level of sadness and loss which I did not anticipate with Benard’s passing. Thinking about it, I have realised that it is because it is only now, when he is gone, that I can call him friend.
Bernard has left me a few legacies. He got me involved in the Army Museum development and a couple of related book projects.
It was very strange having to attend two extended Army museum meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday after Bernard’s wake on Monday. He would have chaired those sessions. No one said as much, but I felt everyone missed him tremendously and thought about him as we met to continue his work.
The Lord provided some comfort. The Army museum project team had just moved into their new offices in the OCS block at SAFTIMI. Large 1m square photographs of soldiers engaged in different types of training line the corridors of that building. I entered the project office through one door and came out of another to see before me a picture of Bernard as a young captain on parade. A group of us stood there for a minute with our individual thoughts and memories. Then I was taken a floor up to see another picture which features Bernard using a signal set during an army exercise.
Something wonderful happened to me at Bernard’s funeral. As the service progressed, I felt strengthened and encouraged. I felt the Lord holding Bernard up as an example of a faithful servant, and it led me to a point of rededication.
How wonderful that the Army eulogy tesified of Bernard’s Christian faith and the eulogy given by the church should state his love for country and that the army was Bernard’s calling.
God loves Bernard more than anyone of us. Bernard deserves to be with He who loves him. Bernard has kept the faith, run the race well and has sprinted that last 600 m into glory.
April 11, 2006 at 1:51 pm |
It took me a whole day to find this website. but at last I found it. Boy, am I glad I persisted. Canada is a far far away place when you receive news like that. WC, you are so blessed to have been the wife of such a wonderful man. As I read the eulogy and this site, my tears would not stop rolling down. I feel so far away from this whole thing. I log on each day looking for news from our friends. Anything, just to let me reconcil with this tragedy that has happened. I look at his photos and I could not stop sobbing. I knew him. I knew him as your husband and I feel your lost. I saw a glimpse of you in that black dress at the funeral possession on one of the website and I wept even more. How could this have happened? There is a great big heartache each time I think of you and the girls.
It is really nice to read about all the wonderful things that he has done and the great impact that he has made on all those who crossed his path. What a beautiful tribute your niece made. You must be just so proud of this man.
April 11, 2006 at 3:04 pm |
At the start of the army museum meeting yesterday, BG Hugh Lim gave a tribute to Bernard. He asked that it be put on record that an army museum had been discussed for some seven years, but it was only though Bernard’s passion for the project that it has materialised.
BG Lim also specifically instructed that an appropriate place be found in the museum to record Bernard’s role in the museum development.
April 13, 2006 at 12:25 am |
E U L O G Y
31 March 2006
On behalf of my aunt Wan Cheng, Claire, Cayla, – our family – I wish to share with you, the story of a father, a husband, a son, a brother, an uncle, a blessing.
Love is not an easy feeling to put into words. Nor is devotion, or conviction or joy.
But I shall try, because he was all of these – and more – he loved life completely and lived it intensely, doing the things he loved.
Fondly known to us as Ah Han or to me, as ah han koo koo,
He was very intelligent, was very fair, he was governed by high morals, and was a man I loved, looked up to and respected very much.
He broke ALL the rules – giving his bosses a hard time, or so he tells me – but only because he has always strived to know and do the will of God, always striving to put his entire faith in God’s divine authority rather than in his own judgement, or ours, for that matter.
My uncle loved many things.
He loved his work.
He loved it and he was good at it because he brought an astonishing intellect and a heart filled with compassion, for his country and for his men.
And we are all very proud of him.
He was not afraid of taking on new challenges— accepting his various appointments with resolve and obsession:
I remember during his NDP days we had to endure countless screenings of Stephanie Sun’s mtv, getting our say in his selection of the NDP soundtrack, although really by the time we heard it for the 100th time they all sounded bad, and we all sounded like Simon Cowell.
He also loved his food, his wine and cheese, his beer, his black pepper crabs, his fried chicken, and Johnsonville Beddar Cheddar Sausages.
During Chinese New Yr lunches, he could down 12 bei-tor-hes and 2 cans of abalones in a go!
He also loved gatherings of all sorts!
But more than that, I think he loved the kinship, the friendship and the fellowship which he shared with all his family and all his friends.
And you being here today, all of you who have given so much of your love and time the past few days, is testimony of that love.
But above all, he especially loved his family.
I could tell that they are as much a part of him as the air he breathes and the dreams he nurtures, resolving to –in his own words – “give them the best, and not the leftovers”.
He loved my aunt Wan Cheng and his two daughters with a ferocious passion,
although he never wore his emotions on his sleeve, but you knew he did – you could tell by the way he only wanted the best for them – the best house, the best schools, the best holiday destinations, the best birthday parties…
You could tell by the way he boasts about Claire and Cayla as being the only 2 geniuses in the world, and Wan Cheng as being the most gorgeous woman alive, with cooking skills and an intellect to match, she was his full time psychologist, his listening ear, and his walking talking encyclopedia-dictionary and thesaurus, proof-reading all his speeches (SO NOW YOU KNOW WHO REALLY WROTE THE SPEECHES!!).
As a father, he was a hero of a dad – you could see he wanted it this way, if you remember the 1st 10 seconds of Claire’s birthday video (he in his army uniform, walking through the front door with Claire running to receive him!)
Most definitely, to Claire and Cayla, their father was no ordinary man.
He has a body to shield his daughters from strangers, charging cars and scary dogs;
A broad expanse of chest to nestle against, and a tummy to pillow their head whilst watching tv or reading a book.
He has two strong arms to hold them up to touch the sky, to swing across monkeybars, to climb coconut trees, to sit on elephants or to fly like aeroplanes.
Claire remembers:
He was there for her first bike ride, her first time on rollerblades;
But being the speed demon he was, he got his own bicycle and she was relegated to the child seat.
She also wants me to tell you
about the hand squeezing game they played before she goes to bed each night:
He’d squeeze her hand 4 times meaning to say: do you love me
She’d squeeze back: yes I do
He’d squeeze: How much?
And she’d give him a real long and hard squeeze meaning to say: a zillion times!
Claire also insists he was the best party planner – the one in charge of all the games at her birthday parties, getting all the materials for Claire’s rendition of Project Runway, making sure the kids – and HIMSELF – had a good time.
He is the firm cornerstone of the family who gives her values to believe in,
He teaches her to be brave, and is always proud of her for trying new things.
He gave her self assuredness, gave her the self belief that she has the right answer to almost any question.
Claire also tells me:
He is Cayla’s favourite comedian – dancing around till his shorts’d slip down to his knees, cracking the girls up like mad.
He is Cayla’s late night kaki – fighting his own fatigue to play with her till she’s ready to go to bed, not without first whining to my aunt Wan Cheng about needing to put Cayla to bed earlier EVERYTIME.
He is her swimming coach, and in Cayla’s own words, he tells her to “keep your legs up and your backside up!”
He is the hand that will catch her at the bottom of the slide; her seat on a scary elephant ride.
He is her bad-time bath -> getting soap and water everywhere except –Claire tells me – Cayla’s armpits and apparently his too!
He is Cayla’s last last last last potato chip – even though my aunt said no, 3 potato chips ago.
And dear ah han koo koo,
Wan Cheng Ah Kim would like you to know
that you were her pillar of strength – although you could have been less bossy about it.
She feels safe with you, she feels secure
She always knew you could solve ANY problem for you always believed that anything is possible and EVERYTHING can be solved.
Even though you don’t get to spend much time together,
she knows that you really love her and the girls, and you would do ANYTHING for them.
She never really had the chance to tell you this,
But you are REALLY loved and appreciated.
She loves you very much
And you are going to be a big void in their lives – which only God is big enough to fill.
That no doubt – the future for her feels bleak and hopeless without you
But yet God has promised her that He has a special destiny for her and the girls.
and He has planned a future and hope for them
She will cling on to God’s promise as she walks the long journey ahead with the girls.
And she will bring them up the way she knows you would want them to be.
She is also very proud of you
In your death, she can see that you have so many friends and that you were loved by so many people,
And because of you and the many lives you have touched,
She has received so much kindness from everyone
And for her -THAT is the legacy that you have left behind.
Dear friends and family,
My aunt Wan Cheng would also like to thank you
Because in you, she sees my uncle Bernard,
And through you, she feels that he is still around.
Because all the love he has created is still here –
All the memories are still here
And he lives on,
In the hearts of all of you and everyone he has touched and nurtured while he was here.
I can see him too…
I can see him, in the quiet strength that Claire possesses,
And yes, he is most definitely in Cayla’s chubby cheeks and rounded tummy
But really, he is in Cayla’s charm and way with people,
I can see him in you ah kim, in your resilience and trust in the Lord,
And I know his hand is the one outstretched making our hearts tingle whenever we think of him
And the drizzle or the gentle breeze on a cloudless day
He is the voice in our heads and hearts, prompting us to live life as intensely as he did – to love your families as he did, to give your loved ones “the best and not the leftovers”, as he did.
(And leading by example even in death, he has gone to give God what is right, and not what is left…)
Dear friends,
Although we bury his body today,
I believe he now sees our Lord face to face,
And although death may have ended his life, it has NOT ended our relationship(s).
And the record of his thoughts and actions as we remember them will stand FOREVER
as the greatest and best memorial that we can erect.
Grant Eternal Rest Unto Him O Lord
And Let perpetual light shine upon him.
May he rest in peace.
Amen.
April 13, 2006 at 1:50 pm |
This site should allow picture posting…. so many crazy pics to add here…
Anyway, was over at Bernard’s place today and finally I get to see the super duper large bean bag that he boasted about. According to Wan Cheng, he bought it from Molecule (the place that sells you stuff that you really dun need in the first place). He did say it was very comfortable… wll try it next time I’m there….
WC, you’re right…it really doesn’t go with the rest of the furniture…. unless you grow trees and plants in the living room….
April 21, 2006 at 2:30 pm |
I’ve been in and out of this site for the past 3 weeks. Yes, it’s been 3 weeks yet the pain is no lesser. There’s so much time to say yet I don’t quite know how I should begin. I really thank Han for inviting me over 2 Sat ago to share with Wan Cheng, Bernard’s family and close friends. It was a great session for us to further testisfy how great COL Bernard was and glorify God for his creation. Like what COL Bernard shared with me on his 39th birthday…. birthdays are only meaningful when others celebrate this day with you becos they are thankful that God has created you, bringing you into this world and making a difference in their lives. I’m sure we all thank God for Bernard for he has indeed made a difference in the lives of many…ours.
Wan Cheng, Claire and Cayla, I’m sure you must be very proud of Bernard. He’s a great man and like what Nicola says, I can see him in you and the girls. You girls completed him. Nicola is also right that the world seems so small as we all are connected through Bernard. Through my sharing, I found out that many have heard of him through their friends etc. Everyone speaks well of him and that he’s indeed a faithful servant of God.
I was at church last Sunday and as I watched the video on 40 Days of Purpose, I could see Bernard in each and every purpose Rick Warren identified. Bernard lived a life of Worship, Fellowship, Discipleship, Ministry and Evangelism. He lived a blueprint for Christian living. I felt comforted when Rick Warren shared that God never waste a hurt. Through this I’m convinced God has a reason for putting all of us through this hurt and grief. We have to trust God.
Bernard will always be remembered as a great leader, boss, mentor, faithful servant and a dear friend.
April 23, 2006 at 10:02 am |
Hi Sir,
Glad to report that I was at church today (technically speaking not really since i spent 1 1/2hrs in the food centre). My second visit for the last month. Not bad really considering that I’ve only been there twice in the last 7 years.
Although I was not IN the church, I learnt that you don’t have to be in the church to GO to church. A great deal of sharing and teachings from Chuan-Jin and Seetoh simply over a bitter cup of coffee…
It seemed that you were there with us, telling us which stall sells the best coffee and wan tan mee. But indeed I was right to say that there is a little you in everyone of us… And although we miss you, we take comfort that you live through many of us.
Till the next Erdinger session… talk to you soon
April 24, 2006 at 4:23 am |
It took me very long to have the courage to write in this website bcos i never knew what to say. For the past weeks i wondered why i cld not shed a tear when everyone else was, and it left me feeling guilty bcos i started to qn if i was evn affected at all. But aft my race on sat i knew the reason.
i am a athlete and i rmb the day aft his death, when i went bck to training, i felt apprehensive. i felt fear and confusion as to y did stg i love doing cause my uncle’s death. but then i also felt resolved to complete the race for him, to win a race for him… and i did.
For the past week since the heats for the national jrs c’ships 100m i have been feeling out of form and was afraid i was not going to win the race. to me it was the 1st race my uncle was watching and i wanted to win it badly. evryday i wld pray that i wld have the same determination he had and i still rmb my prayer just as i walked to the start line for the finals.
” koo, pls pray for me to have your determination so that i may soar like an eagle and sprint like a gazelle and win this race for the glory of our Lord” (well i cldnt exactly rmb his phrase so i came up with my own)
Indeed he heard me and i won the race with a personal best. as i thanked the Lord and my uncle at the finishing line, i say it again.. ” This is for you.. Both of you..”
Indeed i guess the only time i feel sad is when it dawns on me that im alone and he is not here but very often only hope and motivation is what i experience as i trust that he is with me in my passion – sprinting.
Thanks koo, the race wont stop here.
April 26, 2006 at 8:41 am |
COL Bernard was my boss in G1-Army for only a short stint. And today is exactly one mth since he has left us. In office, I felt the difference; it’s not so noisy as it was before. He used to be so full of life, and I often wonder where does he get his stamina from. And today, as I was clearing the last lot of his things/files away, I felt a sense of loss. His scribblings, his little notes, his large volume of files; all depicted the person he was. I remembered the morning after his death ie 27th Mar. As I walked into his rm that morning, I prayed to him for strength to guide me through that week. In a way, I felt a sense of peace after that. He has been a wonderful boss to me and I miss him, especially this Secretary week.
April 26, 2006 at 8:42 am |
COL Bernard was my boss in G1-Army for 1yr+. And today is exactly one mth since he has left us. In office, I felt the difference; it’s not so noisy as it was before. He used to be so full of life, and I often wonder where does he get his stamina from. And today, as I was clearing the last lot of his things/files away, I felt a sense of loss. His scribblings, his little notes, his large volume of files; all depicted the person he was. I remembered the morning after his death ie 27th Mar. As I walked into his rm that morning, I prayed to him for strength to guide me through that week. In a way, I felt a sense of peace after that. He has been a good boss and I miss him, especially this Secretary week.
April 27, 2006 at 1:30 am |
There is a German man selling Frankfurters and Bradwurts in Chinatown. I pass his stall on Trengganu Street everyday going to and from work. Yesterday, for the first time, I noticed that he advertises Erdinger beer. It brought Bernard to mind. I am not a beer drinker, nor have I ever shared a pint with Bernard, but today I will have a bottle to his memory.
April 27, 2006 at 8:29 am |
Uncle Bernard
I miss you and will always remember you.
April 27, 2006 at 8:41 am |
Uncle Bernard
Thank you for being generous, kind and fun.
I miss you and will remember you.
April 28, 2006 at 6:06 am |
In recent days, God has given me affirmation after affirmation, after i daringly asked for signs. I wanted to believe that Bernard is with Him but human weakness prevails; and very often, we were told not to ask for sign like the doubting Thomas, until one morning mass, father Paul said it is ok to ask.
Claire, He told me, is not in denial. Why can’t we trust Him to minister to her. If i really believed in Him, that He is alive and that He is almighty, why can i not also believed that Bernard is with Him. If i can talk with all His saints, argue with Him, why cannot i believe that i can do the same with Bernard. If God is alive, so is Bernard.
These days, instead of sitting before Him to mope and indulge in my self-pity, i take joy in my quiet time with Him, His saints and of course Bernard. Although the heart still ripples, the surety that Han, you are with Him, and that you are praying for each one of us, the void that was left empty on your departure is filled with peace.
O Lord, thank you for Your promptings and Han, continue to pray for us.
April 29, 2006 at 2:28 am |
It’s been a month this week. It still remains quite unreal. I often half expect to turn the corner and see Bernard. Or to look to my left at our usual conference and see him there. Or to pop by his office for what was that? walnut flavoured coffee? while we discuss work…or mostly gossip
I have gone thru almost my whole career together with Bernard in some form or other…in the same unit or following after him…be it our Guard Conversion Course, as OCs together, taking over his house and stuff in UK at Staff College, taking over 3 Gds from him, with him as my Bde Comd for awhile, taking over 7 SIB from him and then as fellow ACs now. You get so used to a person and sometimes you take it for granted that he would always be there. I have one less friend to talk to and confide in with my worries and concerns. And I have one less partner to work the several issues we wanted to work on in our next bound in our reorganisation.
There’s a void. And All I can see in my mind’s eye is that image of Bernard smiling. Dreamt of him the other day…he was sitting in some car that drove by and grinning his grin. For a moment then, I thought, perhaps, just perhaps it did not all happen. But of course, it was just a moment, before I realised that it was only a dream.
Ships passing in the darkness,
lights casting flickering dancing shadows,
across each bow and stern.
Just for awhile they sail,
along common paths,
keeping company in an unknownst sea.
Journey uncharted,
destination clear.
With the deep clear blast of the horns,
deep mournful resonance,
each turn, ever slowly,
away.
Meeting only at that final port of call,
someday.
Moments in time,
memories for a lifetime.
April 29, 2006 at 5:56 am |
I received a longer version of the following meditation by e-mail yesterday. It came in the form of a chain letter which I normally ignore, but as I read, it spoke to me and comforted me. I realized then that it will speak to all of us who miss Bernard and are still in the process of grieving. It has helped me, and I pray that it will help you too to deal with our loss.
PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
A prayer: Dear God, thank you for letting Bernard be a part of our lives, whether it be for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
May 2, 2006 at 1:09 am |
Thanks Eck Kheng. Bernard was here for a reason, a season and is with us for a lifetime, albeit in the Home we seek to return. Thank you Lord for the 39 years i shared with him.
May 4, 2006 at 4:51 am |
Chanced upon this story that seems so apt an answer to our many doubts..
Angel Story
God’s Embroidery
This story provides a great answer to all those serious questions about life…
When I was a little child, my mother used to embroider a great deal. I would sit at her knee and look up from the floor and ask what she was doing. She informed me that she was embroidering. I told her that it looked like a mess from where I was. As from the underside I watched her work within the boundaries of the little round hoop that she held in her hand, I complained to her that it sure looked messy from where I sat.
She would smile at me, looking down and say gently, “My child, you go about your playing for a while and when I am finished with my embroidering, I will put you on my knee and let you see it from my side.”
I would wonder why she was using some dark threads along with the bright ones and why they seemed so jumbled from my view. A few minutes would pass and then I would hear Mother’s voice say, “Child, come and sit on my knee.” This I did, only to be surprised and thrilled to see a beautiful flower or a sunset. I could not believe it, because from underneath it looked so messy. Then Mother would say to me, “My child, from underneath it did look messy and jumbled, but you did not realize that there was a pre-drawn plan on the top.
It was a design. I was following it. Now look at it from my side and you will see what I was doing.”
Many times through the years I have looked up to my Heavenly Father and said, “Father, what are you doing?” He has answered, “I am embroidering your life.” I say, “But it looks like a mess to me. It seems so jumbled. The threads seem so dark. Why can’t they all be bright”.
The Father seems to tell me, “My child, you go about your business of doing My business, and one day I will bring you up to Heaven and put you on My knee and you will see the plan from my side.”
taken from http://www.catholic.org : angel stories
May 4, 2006 at 11:05 am |
I remember Uncle Bernard. He is living now in a nice place and Jesus is looking after him.
May 4, 2006 at 2:50 pm |
Winnie, Sze Mying and Amanda,
It heartens me to see all your beautiful sharing on this blog…..and it is really encouraging to see the first light of spring coming through your thoughts and reflection. I can see acceptance of His will despite the lack of answers, I can sense peace despite the enveloping sadness.
But most of all…..I can see LOVE.
Even when memories dim and fade, one thing that left a deep impression on me was the relationship you all shared with Bernard. I have always been inspired by the love you had for each other. Winnie, you always had a listening ear for him and a generous heart. You almost never turned down any request that he made of you. You were more than a sister, you were his mentor and confidante. Although he probably never verbally articulated it much to you, his actions very much did the talking …the location of his home, the Chinese names of his children…. As for Sze Mying and Amanda, I cannot even began to describe the affection he had for them. He probably did not realize how much hold they had on him. He could never stop talking about them. He sought their approval about everything and boy, Sze Mying had a very strong mind of her own even when she was little. He yielded to her every whim and fancy, didn’t he? There was always laughter, teasing and a sense of playfulness in your household when he was around. Even as I am writing this, I feel a sense of warmth and joy at the memory……
And I pray that the same LOVE that he generated in your family continues to grow…..ever stronger….even in his absence.
Keep in touch and May God Bless!!!
May 5, 2006 at 9:38 am |
Exactly one year ago this day, Bernard sent me an sms wishing me happy birthday… Though I was overseas then, it was so heartening and touching to get a simple but yet warm message from a dear friend. My wish this year is to have the strength, belief and courage to walk his path and live it fruitfully.
“Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me,
And be my friend…”
May 5, 2006 at 9:50 am |
Happy and blessed birthday Alex
May 10, 2006 at 6:54 am |
Papa, you win for uncle Bernard ok?
- comments before the memorial soccer match 1 May.
May 13, 2006 at 10:37 am |
This is the dream I had about Bernard two nights ago:
We are in an outdoor café. He is in a blue Hawaiian shirt with a darker blue print. His white laptop is on the round table scattered with A4 sheets. Bernard is relaxed; holding forth about something, probably work.
In my dream, I know that Bernard has died. I sit listening to him, enjoying his presence. Then I lean forward and touch his hand poised next to the computer. I feel flesh and bone. I look up and ask: “You’re supposed to be dead, you know?” He does not reply, but grins.
The dream segues to the next episode. I am in a car. My wife is driving. I am in the back seat, my daughter on my left and Bernard on my right. I wonder if I am the only one who can see him. I ask my little girl, “Gillian, how many people are there in the car?” She understands my implied question, leans over and pulls a lock of Bernard’s hair. He says, “Children grow up so quickly and can be very cheeky.”
In the last sequence, my wife has dropped us off in a car park. I pick up my car and intend to give Bernard a lift. But before I know it, he is gone. Driving into the street, I spot him walking towards a bus stop. A bus drives by blocking him from view. I feel that when the bus passes, Bernard would have disappeared. When the bus speeds off Bernard is indeed not there. Then I glimpse the blue shirt behind the bus stop’s billboard. He has walked behind it. When I look in the rearview mirror, Bernard is standing there hailing a bus – and I awake.
I don’t believe that Bernard came to me in this dream. But the dream does reflect the feelings that we may have had in dealing with his absence.
As I meditated on this, verse 4 of Psalm 23 came to mind. Often we think of that verse, indeed the whole psalm, as being a comfort to the dying, but I now see that it is also relevant to those who go through the shadowy valley of bereavement.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
Yes, the Good Shepherd walks with us, beside us, as friend, protector, comforter and guide. He is leading us out of this dark valley.
May we ever keep close to Him as we continue our journey in the light.
May 14, 2006 at 3:26 pm |
In church today. Good speaker. Funny guy. Spoke and delivered healing in church. It just makes one think : Sometimes the bad, the pain, the anguish or the suffering dont go away simply because we want Him to alleviate all things that are negative and painful. Sometimes they just stay behind. Lest we forget the beautiful lives that we live and how and why we live for others. And how fragile our time here in this transit world.
Healing takes place within… with a little help from Him and others…
May 19, 2006 at 4:14 am |
The other day, we brought Claire and Cayla to the zoo.
And it started to drizzle real slightly,
and i told Cayla to pray to Jesus
That he’d stop the rain
Make it go away
So she did:
“Dear Jesus, please make the rain go away.”
And I told her,
“Tell Daddy to tell Jesus too”
And she said:
“Dear Daddy, tell Jesus to make the rain go away.”
From smses from friends in various parts of Singapore
It seems it was raining cats and dogs everywhere else
But there was no rain in the zoo.
May 23, 2006 at 2:07 am |
Dear friends of Bernard, when we think of Bernard and miss him, turn your thoughts into prayers for Wan Cheng, Claire, Cayla, Bernard’s Mom and his extended family.
Dear Bernard’s beloved, when your hearts ache, think of others who need prayer, and lift them to God.
Let’s unite in this fellowship, a circle of prayer.
f
May 24, 2006 at 9:01 am |
Tomorrow we celebrate the feast of Ascension. And it’s almost 2 months since Bernard’s passing on. i asked the Lord, when will i get to see Bernard again, how long more do i have to wait.
John 16:16-20 “Jesus said to his disciples – A little while and you will see me no more; and then a little while, and you will see me…..Truly, I say to you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn to joy.”
Lord, i trust in You.
May 25, 2006 at 5:14 am |
At mass this morning Fr Paul said that instead of sitting & waiting, we should live our lives as Jesus did. And as J.D. Jones wrote: “The Gospel is not so much in what He said, as in what He was and did. So He appointed twelve that they might be with Him, that they might not only hear His wondrous words, but might see His glorious life and behold His mighty works, and weep at His Cross and exult at His empty grave, and so become His witnesses in Jerusalem and to the uttermost parts of the earth.”
Recalling the period of Bernard’s wake and night after night the sharings we heard of his love for Our Lord, his “proclamation” of the Word at every opportunity, Bernard’s mission is, i believed, to bring glory to God.
May 29, 2006 at 3:44 am |
in recent weeks i have started training more frequently at the national stadium just when the NDP preparations have begun. it has been rather difficult being there imagining how my uncle once commanded the whole thing, did a great job and was damn proud of it. indeed the pictures of him there just come back as i look around and think back.. and i dare say i was and am damn proud of him too.
but more importantly, with this whole experience, a new goal came into my mind as i move forward with greater aspirations in my track career – i wanted to make the nation, that he was so proud of, proud too.
i will run the race and finish it – in memory of my uncle with the strength of my God… our God.
Who is my motivation i always ask… well i think i found my answer today. the Lord is my strength and koo is the fighter in me.
your determination till the very end inspires me. passion before glory.
June 7, 2006 at 1:51 pm |
Saw this passage the other day…. And it gave me comfort and even put a smile on my face….
“We can shed tears that he has gone OR We can smile because he has lived,
We can close our eyes and pray that he’ll come back OR We can open our eyes and see all he has done,
Our heart can be empty because we can’t see him OR We can be full of the love we shared,
We can turn our back on tomorrow and live for yesterday OR We can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday,
We can remember him and think only that he has gone OR We can cherish his memory and let it live on,
We can cry and close our mind, be empty and turn our back OR We can do what he’d want us to do, open our eyes, love, and go on.”
June 14, 2006 at 12:45 pm |
When COL Bernard was Comd 7SIB, the core group had a visioning session. Think that was back in 2003. One of the exercises we did was called “Tomorrow’s Tribute to Myself”, it was a simple worksheet to capture how we wanted to be remembered. When I looked at what Bernard had written, it really inspires me to live the way he did. Let me share with you what he wrote and may this inspire you as well.
A person who is….. Christ-like
A person who believes in….. God
A person who is committed to ….. others
A person who has (achieved)….. much
A person whose destiny is ….. serving
A person who stands for ….. love
A person whom others call ….. great leader
As you read the postings on this blog……. you’ll realised we’ve said all that.
June 21, 2006 at 6:11 am |
I went to the Army Museum ground-breaking ceremony this morning. All the top brass were there, including Minister and Second Minister for Defence.
The project is developing nicely. Some of Bernard’s ideas have been fleshed out, others evolved and a number dropped. New ideas have surfaced. The last gallery of the museum is now focussed on People, complementing Mission and Values. (Bernard would have been pleased.)
So life moves on, finding its new equilibrium.
Leaving the event, I thought about Bernard. As I did, the car cd played “Onward Christian Soldiers”. How appropriate.
Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus going on before.
Christ, the royal Master, leads against the foe;
Forward into battle see His banners go!
At the sign of triumph Satan’s host doth flee;
On then, Christian soldiers, on to victory!
Hell’s foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
Brothers lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
Like a mighty army moves the church of God;
Brothers, we are treading where the saints have trod.
We are not divided, all one body we,
One in hope and doctrine, one in charity.
What the saints established that I hold for true.
What the saints believèd, that I believe too.
Long as earth endureth, men the faith will hold,
Kingdoms, nations, empires, in destruction rolled.
Crowns and thrones may perish, kingdoms rise and wane,
But the church of Jesus constant will remain.
Gates of hell can never gainst that church prevail;
We have Christ’s own promise, and that cannot fail.
Onward then, ye people, join our happy throng,
Blend with ours your voices in the triumph song.
Glory, laud and honor unto Christ the King,
This through countless ages men and angels sing.
i
June 26, 2006 at 1:55 pm |
You came into my dreams last night
You knew I was upset and disturbed
You smiled
And I think you said some things
It made me remember how you would always made sense out of everything confusing and complicated
You are my pillar of strength
I am weak without you
But I strive to find strength within me that you have left behind
I miss you sir…
June 26, 2006 at 3:13 pm |
Bernard,
Thanks for being a friend.a leader and a guide
You were the star that shone the brightest ,
That lit the sky while others watch.
So that those who were lost
could find a way home.
June 27, 2006 at 9:23 am |
Dear friends of bernard
Thank you for all your thoughts. Each time i misses him, it is to these pages that i click. Han you will always be a part of us and no, it is not the memory but your spirit who lives in me and i love you. In the Father’s house now, pray for us.
July 7, 2006 at 4:05 am |
As Jesus was raised up, so are we, and so shall we be.
This saying is trusworthy:
If we have died with Him
we shall also live with Him;
If we persevere
we shall also reign with Him.
But if we deny Him
He will deny us.
If we are unfaithful
He remains faithful,
for He cannot deny Himself (2 Timothy 2:11-13)
He will change our lowly body to conform with His glorified body …. (Philippians 3:21a)
But if Christ is preached as raised from the dead, how can some among you say there is no resurrection of the dead? … For if the dead are not raised, neither has Christ been raised, and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is vain; you are still in your sins. Then those who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are the most pitiable people of all.
But now Christ has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep. (1 Corinthians 15:12, 16:20)
July 24, 2006 at 4:31 pm |
Ya Alex, can’t believe we both dreamt of Bernard on 26th June. It’s so meaningful cos it was the day he left us 3 months ago. There were many familiar faces in the dream, people who still missed him a great deal. It was like we all knew he was no longer with us….it was kind of a memorial service held in remembrance of him BUT we felt his presence:)
In about 2 weeks, I’ll be taking 6 mths off from work to spend more time with my 2 boys. Yes.. Bernard made this possible, I still can’t believe he actually went through the possible options with me for abt 2 months or so and even over a good lunch! (right Alex? sadly that was also the last lunch we had with him) I guess he knew I love what I was doing and was reluctant to call it quits. He’s a great Boss, willing to go the extra mile for you and a friend who understands you. Sir, Thanks so much..wished I could have told you so
July 26, 2006 at 3:13 pm |
Sir, good to see you… Shiang Ni and I nearly got lost in the church (how embarrassing!). I’ll sneak in Erdinger beer in next time… till then…
August 8, 2006 at 1:32 am |
As i was reading the Jun 06 issue of Onward Soldiers dedicated to Bernard, it came to mind Bernard’s wish. At meal times, after meals …., we will sit and talk and dream our dreams and he will always end with his wish of one day, i recounting the stories, sze mying designing and he filling the pages, writing that book, scripting the drama of our family and how it would be a best seller …… And how our dear Lord fulfilled his desire; however, with him not as the author, the script writer but the subject witnessing to and glorifying Our Father in heaven.
To the editorial team and especially Col Ngien, thank you, and yes, you have captured his very heart and life in your article.
August 9, 2006 at 6:43 am |
Today I remember Bernard the Patriot.
I remember him too for starting a great Singapore tradition – the Sea of Red at NDP.
He was one, among others, who joined me to Singapore.
August 9, 2006 at 3:46 pm |
Exactly 3 years ago, we were celebrating our NDP 03 success. Can still hear you chanting “one people, one nation, one Singapore….”. =) Guess you are with us today..oh yes, thanks for the perfect weather. =)
August 9, 2006 at 8:40 pm |
Sir, the song u loved so much “Xiao Ren Wu De Xin Sheng” was sung in tonight’s NDP. At last… yr favourite song was featured…
August 15, 2006 at 11:00 am |
Today we celebrate the Feast of the Assumption – where we believe that Mary, the mother of Jesus (Our Lady), has been taken body and soul (full humanity) to the eternal vision of God. This belief is also what gives me hope that depending on our faith and holiness, what we will also receive in fitting degree when we are finally brought to the Father. And it is also our belief that on the Feast of Assumption, besides Christmas, All Saints Day, Good Friday and Ascension of Jesus, Our Lady will deliver souls to Heaven.
For the past mornings, in my conversation with Our Lord, i have asked if Bernard is already with Him and that He should give me a sign (although i always feel at peace & at ease conversing with him and all my favourite saints). Right after Mass this morning, we drove (in bernard’s car as eddy’s hyundai was uncooperative) father P for breakfast. Funnily, our conversation this morning touched on father’s experiences, his ESP… And as we walked back to Bernard’s car after breakfast, father realised that eddy wasn’t driving his hyundai and commented that Bernard’s car looks like an army car and asked whose. Eddy answered “yes, the owner was from the army and that he’s my brother-in-law the colonel ….” And you won’t believe what came out of father’s mouth – “oh, he’s a saint!” For me to complain to God that “You’re not deaf but dumb” – He surely isn’t dumb this time. And when i told nicola what happend, she sms with this message: “It’s real funny but i had a vision of koo last night all dressed in white. At first i thot it was juz my imagination but the image kept appearing no matter how i tried to imagine it differently.”
i trust in You, Lord and i thank You for Your reaffirmation and blessings.
August 21, 2006 at 2:33 pm |
Bernard’s “In the Race of Life, Be the Best You can Be” ads for the Army were launched today.
The placement in The Straits Times, under the report on the PM’s National Day speech was prime position. The first part of the tag line was left unsaid, but is so much more poignant in view of how Bernard went to be with our Lord.
The television ad was surprisingly long, and is the best SAF ad ever. (And I am not saying this for Bernard’s sake!) It was beautifully shot but still gritty real and something every NSman can identify with.
I am sure everyone who knows who was behind the ads remembered Bernard today.
August 23, 2006 at 3:13 am |
We saw on tv late last night and amanda exclaimed “it’s koo’s ad!”
August 25, 2006 at 4:21 pm |
I saw my uncle’s ad on the telly today.
“In the race of life, live to be your best.”
And I cried.
Tears of sadness, of pride, of loss, of reminiscence, of fondness, of courage, of hope.
I can still vividly remember him boasting: “Damn coooool riiiiight?!”
And I also have a vivid picture of the smug grin he wore on his face when he said it
And of course the drama – complete with all the melodramatic pauses, hand gestures and facial expressions. *smile*
But the point of this entry really,
is my serendiptous perusal of Jean Lafrance’s “My Vocation is Love: St Therese of Lisieux,” and as God would have it, was providently lying beside my laptop.
And almost as randomly, i opened the book and Page 94 read:
” We must, she (St Therese) told me, do all that is in our power,
give without counting the cost,
deny ourselves constantly,
in a word, prove our love by all the good works that we can.
But truly, how little it all is…
W e must, when we have done all we believe we have to do,
consider ourselves ‘unprofitable servants,’
Hoping nevertheless that God will give us, by His grace, all that we desire.
This is the hope of all little souls who ‘run’ in the way of spiritual childhood.
I say ‘run’, and not ‘rest’.”
And an indescribable sense of faith, hope and love settled upon me.
And dear friends, I am hoping this excerpt would do the same for you, as it did for me.
Because in deed, his vocation was love.
He did, firstly, all that he could as if it depended on him,
and he expected everything, as if it depended on God alone.
And today, you can be sure, that wherever he is, he is with us.
And he is calling us to do the same.
September 1, 2006 at 4:51 am |
” in the race of life, live to be your best” tt was the phrase i constantly remembered as i went to beijing for my competition. koo’s ad was not out yet but ah kim had mentioned it in the newspaper interview which i decided to bring along to beijing. it has become a permanent fixture in my running logbook… watching d ad now, i recall fondly the moment when i was at the start line.. just as i went into my starting position, i uttered a prayer.. “Lord help me” (which i usually say).. but i added this tt day.. “koo run with me”.. i went on to achieve a significant achievement in my runnig career.. everyday i remind myself of the importance of passion and indeed i know for certaiin that koo’s passion is my inspiration.
September 5, 2006 at 3:39 am |
this is the best SAF ad that i have ever came across. i hv adopted tis tag line on my MSN. there is no doubt that life is a race. if u dun live to be your best, u will fall behind & not stand out. most imptly, tis phrase will keep me pushing on at work & in life, despite all obstacles.
September 5, 2006 at 10:20 am |
Last Saturday, as Claire raced to the gymnasium and then practically RAN all of the 2 rounds of warm up in her gym class, i suddenly saw Bernard in her. She used to be such a wimpy and whiny little girl and i have never seen such determination. In the 5 months, Claire has grown so much and i know her father lives in her.
“… I saw the Lord always before me for he is at my right hand so that i will not be shaken; therefore my heart was glad, and my tongue rejoiced; moreovoer, my flesh will live in hope. For you will not abandon my soul to Hades, or let your holy one experience corruption. You have made known to me the ways of live; You will make me full of gladness with Your presence” Acts 2: 25-28
September 8, 2006 at 9:48 am |
Hi, I’m Jo-Ann, Nicola’s friend. Seeing Nicola deal with Colonel Bernard’s passing has been painful, but her strength to go on and her trust in the Lord has been inspiring.
My brother just began his journey as a soldier and he completed BMT with a bang, coming in Best for platoon. To some it might seem a small achievement but the family was very proud of him. I did a little picture collage and used little alphabet stickers to write out Colonel Bernard’s ad tag line around the border and explained to my brother (who has been marooned on Pulau de Tekong for the past couple of months) how it came about. I think that inspired him to be a even better soldier.
The other day in class, I was teaching them the use of quotes and a student talked about the new army ad on tv with the very good quote. I knew instantly which one he was talking about and gave them a little more information about it. They were subdued (for once!) and in thought, and later, I found that a few of them had written the line in their journals.
Dear Nic and family, your uncle’s legacy truly lives on.
September 24, 2006 at 2:32 pm |
still miss you very much sir.
as i stand at a crossroad today, i yearn so much to speak with you, to seek your counsel, to hear your wisdom.
i still have those sms you sent; have been looking at them very often lately.
it is with tears, still, that i think of you.
till we meet again…
September 25, 2006 at 4:42 pm |
It’s been six months.
A week or so ago, I received a copy of the June issue of Onward Soldiers, the magazine of the military Christian fellowship of Singapore, which is dedicated to the memory of Bernard.
I pored through it, read every article and lingered over each expression on Benard’s face.
In the end, what struck me most from within the covers of that magazine was a short verse – 1 Cor 1:11.
Follow my example as I follow the example of Christ.
I don’t know many people who can live up to that.
Bernard did.
God held Bernard up as an example to me. Yet, I recognise that Christ is the perfect example.
Lord, help us to walk in Your steps, as Bernard did.
September 26, 2006 at 1:19 pm |
Did you hear me today? Or did He? Anyway, thanks for the help… I really needed it…
September 28, 2006 at 3:41 pm |
Last saturday, as we were driving home to attend Cayla’s birthday party at the poolside, we noticed the rain drops on our windscreen. Unaware of each’s “petition”, amanda and i silently called on bernard TO STOP the rain.
Yesterday, amanda was going to shoot an outdoor video of Claire for her uni project. As we approached Victoria Theatre for lunchtime Mass, the sky was really threatening. Remembering SzeMying calling Bernard the “Patron Saint of Weather”, i asked the Lord for a sign, a sign to confirm that Bernard indeed is living among His Saints. When i came out after Mass, the sky couldn’t be brighter and clearer.
I thank Our Lord for His affirmation; and now, we pray WITH Bernard.
October 1, 2006 at 1:47 pm |
Its been a long time since you visited me in my dreams
You looked busy
And that red sports car? Not you lah…
Although we didn’t talk, I could sense that you were very you…
Very Bernard
Drop by often… once in 3 months is kinda long leh
See ya soon!
October 16, 2006 at 3:53 am |
A new vision of the Christian life through the eyes of a saint whose intuition gazed deeply into the mystery of God, where Bernard is now in communion with.
Therese was born on 2 January 1873, entered the convent at age 15, received her Carmelite veil on 24 September 1890, died on 30 September 1897 at the age of 24 and canonized a Saint on 17 May 1925. Following is an exchange of letters between her and a brother priest Maurice touching on her homecoming:-
“A Dieu, but Not Farewell
By the beginning of July, a sharp decline in Therese’s health was obvious to everyone. Her right lung had collapsed, and for almost the entire month she coughed up blood day and night. ….. Aware that her letter of June 9 was never mailed, she wanted to be sure that Maurice was not left without a proper good-bye. The indications of death were by now undeniable: “I can tell you with assurance that the Spouse is at the door.”
Therese’s words in this letter need to be weighed thoughtfully for the doctrine they contain. Her concept of heaven is new and radical. Conventionally it was seen as eternal rest, a reward for a life well lived. She did not accept that idea at all. The whole purpose of her earthly life was to love God and make Him loved. That would not change after she died, as long as there were souls still to be saved. Death would free her from the boundaries of space and time, and her mission to travel the would as the messenger of God’s love would begin. With unheard-of-boldness she flatly stated: “I will spend my Heaven doing good on earth,”…..
Heaven, she saw clearly, is not eternal rest but eternal life, a life that is utterly full, without end and without beginning, for it is the very Life of God, the Life into which Jesus will draw all in His Resurrection. She believed that she would share that Life completely, and just as Jesus has transcended the limits of time and space and remains active in this present world, she would do the same. “I shall come back to take you with Me, that where I am you also may be,” He said. Her desires were not follies but would be fulfilled only after she died. Then her mission would begin, to love Him as He had never been loved before and to make others love Him as she did. …..
We may speak of this as a new theology if we wish, but more accurately it is a new mysticism, a new vision of the Christian life through the eyes of a saint whose intuition gazed deeply into the mystery of God and was not afraid to draw conclusions from what she saw. “He gives me everything that is His” she said. She did not feel she was taking liberties when she placed His words in her own mouth: “It is best for you that I go. You are in sorrow now, but I will come back to you and your hearts will rejoice, and your joy no one will take away from you.” She did not think she was going too far in believing that Jesus would share His risen Life with her completely. …..
She took seriously the statement of St. Paul in his letter to the Galatians: “I have been crucified with Christ, and the life I live now is not my own; Christ is living in me.” Paul too was completely converted by his experience of the risen Jesus on the road to Damascus. It is said that afterwards he went into the desert for fourteen years to absorb in solitary contemplation the enormity of what happened to him when he encountered the risen Lord. Only then did his mission really begin. He was by that time nearly fifty and had but ten years of his life left. … The comparison of Therese to Paul is often made by scholars. While she had no single spectacular encounter with Jesus as he did, she encountered Him day by day in the depth and darkness of her contemplation. Her conversion, slow but steady, was complete, as Paul’s was. She spoke of her union with Jesus as a “fusion,” which made the two one. Like Paul, she received a mission from Jesus, to proclaim to the whole world the message of God’s merciful love. Her mission really begin when she left the silence of her cloister and entered eternal life.
By the time Therese wrote this letter to Maurice, she had reached the summit of her mysticism. …. She was very specific, so that he might not misunderstand her: “I’m happy to die because I feel that it’s God’s Will, and because I shall be much more useful than I am now to souls who are dear to me, to yours very specially….. I shall be doing more than writing to my dear little brother, more indeed than speaking to him in the tedious language of earth: I shall be very near to him, I shall see everything he needs, and I shall give God no rest until He grants me everything I want! … When my dear little brother leaves for Africa, I shall follow him not only in thought and in prayer; my soul will be with him forever, and his faith will know very well how to discover the presence of a little sister whom Jesus gave him, to be a support to him not for a mere two years, but until the last day of his life. …. ‘Soon, little brother, I shall be near you.’” …..
Meanwhile, however, what she had begun to endure was almost more than she could bear: “I earnestly beg you to pray hard for me. I need prayers so much right now.” The saint whose blind faith saw the other world so clearly was still an ordinary mortal in great pain. …
July 17, 1897
Oh my poor little Sister, what a blow for my poor heart! It was so unprepared. Don’t ask from it that joy which you feel at the approach of bliss. It remains attached to its heavy chain, it is nailed fast to its cross….
Oh how hard it is, how painful for a soul not deeply rooted in God! Nevertheless, His will be done. Let it be done! … since you’re going to be happy forever, my sister. Yes, it’s a fact, right? … I am an egoist.
Go, little Sister, don’t make Jesus wait any longer. It is as if He is impatient to gather you up. Leave me to fight on, to carry the cross, to fall beneath it and die in pain. You will be there for me all the same. …. Your soul will guide mine, speak to it and console it – unless Jesus, annoyed by my complaining, does not will it. But you, little Sister, His spoiled child, having now become His spouse and reigning with Him, you will win my cause and draw me to Him on the last day. … He is teaching me by means of a new lesson to be detached from everything that passes and to look toward Him Alone.
Depart, then, dear little Sister of God, ….. Tell Jesus that I would like to love Him very much – with all my heart. Teach me to love Him the way you do. Tell Mary that I love her with my whole soul. Give my love to my saints whom you know. And you who will become my favorite Saint, you my very own sister, bless me and save me. …
…. Until we meet again soon. No matter how long the exile may be, it will be short compared to eternity.
Au revoir until Heaven!
….. Maurice Barthlemy-Belliere
A Dieu!
… He was thunderstruck by the news Therese gave him. Although he had known that her illness was very serious, there still remained a slender hope of a turn for the better. Now she left no doubt that her remaining days were few and it was time to say good-bye. “The Spouse is at the door,” she wrote. All her understanding of death, even in the darkest night of her faith, was in that beautiful phrase: not death, but the Spouse was at the door, her beloved Jesus, about to take her into His own glorious Resurrection, in the final embrace of the Bridegroom and His Bride. Dying was as simple as that. She would see His Face at last….. Maurice Belliere was a man of ardent faith, who never doubted for a moment that Therese was entering eternal life. Heaven was as real to him as it was to her, and so were those to whom he sent His love, Mary the Mother of Jesus, and the saints who had befriended him in prayer. Toward the end of his letter he wrote prophetic words: “You who will become my favorite Saint, you my very own sister.” Those words make Maurice the first to “canonize” Therese, even before her death.
July 18, 1897
My poor and dear little Brother,
Your sorrow touches me deeply – but see how good Jesus is! He lets me be able to write you again so that I can try to console you, and doubtless this will not be the last time. This lovable Savior hears your crying and your prayers, and that is why He lets me still remain on earth. Don’t think that I feel bad about this. Oh no, my dear little brother, on the contrary, for I see how much Jesus loves you in what He is doing! ….
… Never have I asked God to let me die young; that would have seemed cowardice. But from my childhood He chose to give me the deep intuition that my course here below would be short. So it is only the thought of doing God’s Will that fills me with joy. … I can only borrow the words of Jesus at the Last Supper – He cannot take offense at this since I am His little bride and therefore whatever is His belongs to me. I speak to you, therefore, as He spoke to His friends: “I am going to the Father; but because I have spoken to you in this way your hearts are filled with sadness. But I tell you the truth: it is best for you that I go. You are in sorrow now, but I will come back to you and your hearts will rejoice, and your joy no one will take away from you.” Yes, I am certain of it, after my entrance into life the sadness of my dear little brother will change into a peaceful joy which no creature will be able to rob from him. I sense that we have to go to heaven by the same route, that of suffering joined to love. When I shall have come into port I shall teach you, dear little brother of my soul, how you must sail the stormy sea of the world, with the abandon and love of a child who knows that his Father cherishes him, and would never think of leaving him alone in the hour of danger. Ah! How I would love to make you understand the tenderness of the Heart of Jesus, and what it is that He is asking from you. … I am not in the least astonished that the practice of familiarity with Jesus comes a bit hard to you. We don’t get to this in a single day. But I am sure that I shall greatly help you to walk more surely by this delightful way once I have been delivered from my mortal envelope; and soon you will say like St. Augustine: “Love is the weight that pulls me forward.” …… Precisely in view of my approaching death a sister has taken my photograph for our Mother’s feast day. When the novices saw the picture they exclaimed that I had put on my grand look. It seems that I’m usually more smiling. But be sure, my little brother, that if my photograph does not smile at you, my soul will not stop smiling at you when it will be near you. A Dieu, my dear and much loved brother; believe that I shall be your true little sister for all eternity.
Th. De l’Enf. Jesus, r.c.i.”
October 22, 2006 at 4:49 pm |
Sir,
Met up with the usual gang this evening… spoke about you (of course!). Somehow or the other, we are lost in our own ways… Though we miss yr counsel, we find strength and direction among one another… We kept saying “If bernard was here, he’ll say…….” This is the legacy you have left behind for us – the wisdom and clarity of life (or for work at least).
Its quite trying… but we will manage…
November 9, 2006 at 7:51 am |
article by Fr Rolheiser : THE COMMUNION OF SAINTS
Growing up, as part of our family prayer, we used to pray for a happy death.
I pictured that this way: you died cradled in the loving arms of
family, friends, and church, fully at peace with God and everyone
around you.
That’s a good picture, the ideal, but not everyone gets to die that
way. Randomness, contingency, and accidents too often have us die in
broken, compromised, and cold situations: bitter, unforgiving,
unforgiven, not fully reconciled, alienated from someone, not going to
church, angry, drunk, dead by drug overdose, a victim of suicide.
Death, not infrequently, catches some of us before we’ve had time to
say the things we should have said or do the things we should have
done. Too often we die with unfinished business, too much of it. As
the old confiteor says: we need forgiveness for what we’ve done and
left undone.
To give a few examples: I was once counselling a man, a priest in his
fifties, who was still unable to forgive himself because when he was a
young, shy, and frightened boy of seven, and his mother lay dying, he
was too afraid to give her a hug when she asked for it. More than
forty years later, he still nursed guilt and a deep regret for this
unfinished business with his long-dead mother.
In another case, I officiated at the funeral of a man who had been
quite happily married for 35 years. One afternoon he had a bitter
argument with his wife over some minor thing, rushed out of the house
in anger, and was killed in an accident minutes later. What terrible
timing for one’s death!
Many of us can empathize with these examples. Who among us doesn’t
have unfinished business with someone whom death has taken away?
Perhaps we had hurt that person, or he or she had hurt us, and it was
never fully reconciled. Or we feel guilt because, while that person
was alive, we should have given more of ourselves to him or her, but
were too busy with our own lives to reach out. Worse still, perhaps
someone has died for whom we had felt hatred and we should have made
some gesture of reconciliation and we never did. Now it’s too late!
Death has separated us and some painful bitterness now lies
irrevocably unresolved and we live with the guilt, wishing we had done
something before it was too late.
But it’s not too late. It’s never too late if we take seriously the
Christian doctrine of the communion of saints. This doctrine, so
central and important that’s enshrined in our creed, asks us to
believe that we are still in real community of life and communication
with those who have died.
To believe in the communion of saints is to believe that those who
have died are still alive and are linked to us in such a way that we
can continue to talk with them, that our relationship with them can
continue to grow, and that the reconciliation that wasn’t possible
before their deaths can now occur.
Why can this happen now, when it seemed so impossible before?
Because our communication with them is now privileged. Death washes
some things clean. This is not the stuff of fantasy, but of solid
dogma. We know its truth because we experience it.
How often in a family, a friendship, a community, or in any human
network, do we experience a tension, a misunderstanding, an anger, a
frustration, an irreconcilable difference, a selfishness, or a hurt
that can’t be undone, and then everything changes because someone
dies? The death brings a peace, a clarity, and a charity, that were
not possible before.
Why? It’s not simply because the death changed the chemistry and took
someone out of the family, the office, or the circle of friends, or
even, as may sometimes seem the case, the source of the tension is the
one who died. It happens because, as Luke’s account of Jesus on the
cross teaches, death washes things clean.
“Today you will be with me in paradise!” Jesus speaks those words to
the good thief on the cross and they’re meant for every one of us who
dies without yet fully being a saint and without having had the time
and opportunity to make all the amends and speak all the apologies
that we owe to others. There is still time after death, on both sides,
for reconciliation and healing to happen because inside the communion
of saints we have privileged access to each other and there we can
finally speak all of those words that we couldn’t speak before. We can
reach across death’s divide.
It can be a great consolation to die a happy death, snug and
reconciled in the arms of love, with no unfinished business. But,
happily, there’s time still after death for this to happen for those
of us who aren’t so lucky and who end up dying with some bitterness,
anger, wound, and frustration still gnawing away.
December 21, 2006 at 9:42 am |
At Advent, when we think of friends, near and far, I think of Bernard, a friend near to the heart and not too far away.
A blessed Christmas and a fulfilling new year to one and all!
December 24, 2006 at 7:00 am |
I’m gonna try to wear the xmas present you bought for me last xmas (still has the ‘new shirt’ scent)… But I really doubt its gonna hide my big tummy… sigh…
January 4, 2007 at 5:08 pm |
2007 New Year Resolution 6 : To be able to wear the CK shirt (minus the belly) by CNY.
February 1, 2007 at 3:43 am |
He was, and still is, a giant of a man … and we can only hope to walk in his shadow.
February 12, 2007 at 3:07 pm |
I never knew COL Bernard personally, nor had I ever met him, but when I joined G1 a few months after his passing, I could still feel his immense presence and the huge impact his death and more importantly his life had on all those who had the honor of knowing him.
I came to know more about COL Bernard through my conversations with colleagues such as Janelle, Kelvin and Alex. Their stories always touched me, and what has been written here has touched me even further. Although I was not fortunate enough to have worked personally with COL Bernard his life, his words and his deeds have indeed inspired me and provided lessons on how to be an outstanding soldier, leader and person.
So for all who know and love COL Bernard, please know that his legacy continues to live on. The proof of a great man is the timelessness of his example. He continues to inspire and to teach and I will be happy if I am able to achieve a fraction of what he has in my army career and in my life.
God Bless and Thank you for making a difference in my life
February 20, 2007 at 4:38 pm |
water flows endless
seasons leaves downstream gathers
stillness you remain
February 21, 2007 at 2:50 pm |
sweet fruit
seed falls
the ground sprouts green
March 4, 2007 at 9:48 am |
The followiing article picks up the thread on Communiion Of Saits poster by Winnie some time ago:
The Communion of Saints
by Dr Robert Solomon
Bishop of the Methodist Church in Singapore
A local church applied to be a member of the National Council of Churches of Singapore, and as a result representatives from the church came for an interview. When asked how old their church was, one of the representatives patiently replied, “We have been around since the first century.”
True, their local church belonged to an ancient denomination in the family of Oriental Orthodox churches. Nevertheless the answer should make us think about the question, “What is the Church?” and how we view this Church.
In an age that has confused personal faith with individualistic faith, we need to re-examine what we say we believe. In the Apostles’ Creed, we declare, “I believe … in the communion of saints …” What do we mean by that phrase?
The term “communion of saints” has become a technical doctrinal phrase, the exact meaning of which this is not the place to discuss in detail. Suffice to say, it refers to biblical teaching that the Church is the Body of Christ (1 Cor. 12), and that this Body, the “communion of saints”, comprises ALL believers across time and space, both living and departed. If we believe in Christ as Saviour and Lord, we are then baptised into this wonderful Body and become its members. We are then a part of God’s holy family that is found in every corner of earth and heaven.
What is more important for us here is to see how this should affect our daily lives and faith.
Firstly, our knowledge and worship of God cannot be confined to the limited depth and breadth of our own individual experiences. Take, for instance, worship.
When we gather to worship, the depth of our worship experience cannot be limited merely by what we knew of God and how we felt that particular Sunday morning. If you are not feeling good, and don’t feel like it, you can still worship God that day because of the faith, knowledge and experience of others.
When the Scripture is read, you can still say “Amen” to whatever truth that was written long ago by people who had felt the breath of God in their hearts. When you sing hymns, you can still sing along, even though you may not find feelings in your heart that resonate with the hymn, because you can still join in the worship of the people of God, and anchor your own life in that worship. And as you do so, God brings you into His light and glory.
You wake up one morning and find that a spiritual doubt had entered your mind like an unwelcome fly that refuses to be chased out of the chambers of your soul. What can you do? You can think of the communion of saints to which you belong. They stand around you like a cloud of witnesses (Heb 12:1), encouraging you to run the race faithfully, assuring you of the truths of the faith.
Augustine, Luther, Calvin, Wesley, your old Sunday School teacher, your late grand-uncle, and a host of others remind you of the truth and reliability of Scripture, of eternity, of the great old doctrines of the Church, and of the reality of Christian experience. Though you may not feel the strength of faith that morning, you can still stand on the shoulders of saints from every age and shore, and be lifted by the living faith of the dead.
Our personal faith must be anchored in the collective historical faith of the communion of saints. In this way, we find ourselves, not swimming alone in the sea of life, especially when it is particularly stormy, but in good company, in the company of saints. What they knew and have experienced of God gives depth and stability to our own knowledge and experience of God.
Secondly, we must realise that the communion of saints is significantly larger than our own informal groups and organised churches. Our view of the Church must be as big as the entire Body of Christ, spanning space and time. Then only can we be saved from small-mindedness and grossly limited visions. We would also be helped when we become disillusioned and frustrated with the organised versions of the Church, to know that we belong to the larger Body of Christ that is being prepared like a bride for Christ the heavenly Groom (Rev. 21:2).
The Reformers struggled with the question of how to deal with the spiritual quality of the church, for the church had both believers and others whose faith was not evident. They were reminded of the Lord’s teaching that the wheat and the weeds will be mixed till the day when the Lord shall come to remove the weeds (Mt. 13:24-30).
One day, the sheep and the goats will be separated (Mt. 25:31-46). But till then, the local, organised and temporal church must think of the larger communion of saints, and be strengthened by drawing on the faith and life of that communion. Our eyes must be lifted higher to recognise that glorious communion in our midst, and experience its life amid our fractured and imperfect lives and present communities.
Finally, the central underlying truth is, we must know that we are part of the communion of saints by becoming identified with and attached to Christ our Lord. He is the Head of the Body (Eph. 4:15). It is through His Spirit that we are baptised into the Body (1 Cor. 12:13). Hence, though we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses, we are urged to keep a steady gaze on Jesus, the Shepherd of our souls (Heb 12:2; 1 Pet. 2:25). In other words, we must look even higher – beyond our own selves, our organised churches, even beyond the communion of saints – to gaze at the glorious sight of Jesus our Lord, the Author and Perfecter of our faith.
And as we gaze at Him and run our races faithfully, we shall become like Him (2 Cor. 3:18; 4:18). In the background we would hear the silent roar of the clouds of witnesses, urging us on, on bright sunshine days and on dark and painful days, reminding us that the One we are looking at is the One who is the Heir of all things (Heb. 1:2), who will have the final word in each of our lives, and in history.
March 20, 2007 at 8:38 am |
“Creed of the Called”
We believe that God chose us in Him before the World began, to be holy and blameless in His sight (Ephesians 1:4)
We believe that those who He foreknew, He predestined to share the image of His Son (Romans 8:29)
We believe that God who had set us apart before we were born and called us by His favour, chose to reveal His Son to us, that we might spread among all people the good tidings concerning Him (Galatians 1:15-16)
We believe that God has saved us and has called us to a holy life, not because of any merit of ours but according to His own design – the grace held out to us in Christ Jesus before the world began (2 Timothy 1:9)
We believe that Christ Jesus has judged us faithful and worthy by calling us to His service (Timothy 1:12)
We believe that we are apostles by vocation, servants of Christ Jesus, set apart to announce the Gospel of God (Romans 1:1)
Considering our vocation, we believe that God chose the weak of this world to shame the strong, so that our faith would not rest on wisdom of men but on the power of God (1 Corinthians 1:27; 2:5)
We believe that to each one God has given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good (1 Corinthians 12:7)
We believe that we must live a life worthy of the calling, which we have received; with perfect humility, meekness and patience, seeking to grow in all things toward Him (Ephesians 4:1-2)
We believe that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who have been called according to His decree (Romans 8:28)
We believe in Him whose power now at work in us can do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)
We believe that He who has begun the good work in us can carry it through to completion, right up to the day of Christ Jesus, because He who calls us is Faithful (Philippians 1:6, 1 Thessalonians 5:24)
March 20, 2007 at 8:44 am |
We believe that God chose us in Him before the World began, to be holy and blameless in His sight (Ephesians 1:4)
We believe that those who He foreknew, He predestined to share the image of His Son (Romans 8:29)
We believe that God who had set us apart before we were born and called us by His favour, chose to reveal His Son to us, that we might spread among all people the good tidings concerning Him (Galatians 1:15-16)
We believe that God has saved us and has called us to a holy life, not because of any merit of ours but according to His own design – the grace held out to us in Christ Jesus before the world began (2 Timothy 1:9)
We believe that Christ Jesus has judged us faithful and worthy by calling us to His service (Timothy 1:12)
We believe that we are apostles by vocation, servants of Christ Jesus, set apart to announce the Gospel of God (Romans 1:1)
Considering our vocation, we believe that God chose the weak of this world to shame the strong, so that our faith would not rest on wisdom of men but on the power of God (1 Corinthians 1:27; 2:5)
We believe that to each one God has given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good (1 Corinthians 12:7)
We believe that we must live a life worthy of the calling, which we have received; with perfect humility, meekness and patience, seeking to grow in all things toward Him (Ephesians 4:1-2)
We believe that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who have been called according to His decree (Romans 8:28)
We believe in Him whose power now at work in us can do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)
We believe that He who has begun the good work in us can carry it through to completion, right up to the day of Christ Jesus, because He who calls us is Faithful (Philippians 1:6, 1 Thessalonians 5:24)
“Creed of the Called”
March 23, 2007 at 2:01 pm |
Dear Sir,
Its been a while but I know you’re constantly nearby
Guiding me in all the things I do
Putting thoughts into my mind that made sense
And making me feel guilty about things I should have done but did not
I see you almost everyday and hear your voice almost everyday
But there is always something missing that makes it not right
It is only after a while that I realised about what I said a year ago about you living through the lives of others.
There are so many lives that you have touched
And it shows
I see your strength and determination in Wan Cheng
I see your ‘hiao-ness’ in Cayla
I see your creativity in Claire
I feel your love for ‘Green’ in Han
I feel your love for Him in Seetoh
I feel your passion for life in Chuan-Jin
I hear your laughter in Moh Cher
I hear your voice in Church
I see, feel, hear and sense you in everyone that I have come in contact with for the last one year. There’s always a bit here and there but its always you.
You have been a great teacher
And you are still teaching me through those who have come to respect and love you
Happy birthday sir! Miss you much…
March 24, 2007 at 7:02 am |
Yep, today is your birthday and to think that last year, we sat at the same table at megumi but forgetting that it’s 24 March, saying no, we have a meeting and could not join you and Claire and Cayla and Wan Cheng for hagaan daaz. Funny how when you are physically so far away that you are constantly so near.
At Mass this morning, when father prayed the Eucharistic Prayer, saying “… a death he freely accepted…” it brought to mind how fast you said that yes, how fast you answered His Call.
See you. Love you always.
March 24, 2007 at 10:21 am |
Hi Sir,
Happy Birthday! It’s been a year, still I can remember vividly the last car ride. The ride was so incidental yet meaningful and will always be etched in my memory.
I was telling Lawrence it’s your birthday today and guess what? He showed me an sms he sent you at 12 midnight to your old number. Did you receive it? We really miss you Sir.
That’s how we manage when we all miss you, we find strength in each other and press on, L.I.V.Eing the legacy you left behind. And Sir, your birthday will be remembered and celebrated cos you made a difference in many of our lives. I’m sure you know the answer now.
March 25, 2007 at 4:14 pm |
A year ago. 24th March as on a Friday. The ALG was at Mandai Camp (well, at least those that did not pontang!). Discussing Pyramid and stuff. As we left, COA turned round and wished you ‘Happy Birthday’. We jumped on the bandwagon and did the same…and we all left…
Happy Birthday my friend.
March 26, 2007 at 12:32 am |
I read Psalm 116 this morning. Verse 15 is the famous one that reads, in the NIV: Precious in the sight of the Lord, is the death of his saints.
I decided to do a study of the verse.
The NIV Study Bible explains that the word “precious” is not used in the sense of highly valued, but of that which is carefully watched over. The Amplified Bible expands the word to mean important and no light matter.
Saints, again from the NIV Study Bible, is the godly. From the Hebrew hasid, it is one of several Hebrew words for God’s people, referring to them as people who are or should be devoted to God and faithful to him.
The context of vs. 15 in Psalm 116 is important. The psalmist here is thanking God for delivering him from death.
So, in the light of the above, vs. 15 affirms that God carefully considers the time of death of those who love him.
Reflecting on this as one of so very many that miss Bernard today, I have the assurance that God has plans for our lives.
Plans that will not be affected by Bernard’s absence.
Indeed, plans that God has for us without Bernard’s presence.
We are to live godly lives that are faithful to God who has carefully considered when he will take us to himself and our reunion with Bernard.
March 26, 2007 at 2:49 pm |
Love has no other destiny than to obey Christ. Our wills are ours only to give away….. Hence all perfect love must end on the note – “Not my will, but Thine be done, O Lord!”
That’s how much you love the Lord.
April 13, 2007 at 10:58 am |
“If God has a master plan,
that only he understands,
i hope its yr eyes he’s seeing through..”
“Precious”
April 14, 2007 at 3:45 am |
What Wan Cheng shared with me last week:-
“I am the LORD; there is no other God. I have prepared you, even though
you do not know me, so all the world from east to west will know there
is no other God. I am the LORD, and there is no other. I am the one who
creates the light and makes the darkness. I am the one who sends good
times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these
things…This is what the LORD, the Creator and Holy One of Israel,
says: “Do you question what I do? Do you give me orders about the work
of my hands? I am the one who made the earth and created people to live
on it. With my hands I stretched out the heavens. All the millions of
stars are at my command.” Isaiah 45:5-7,11,12
No matter how carefully we orchestrate the details, life will always
hold the unexpected. Our confidence doesn’t come in being able to plan
for such times, but in trusting the One who commands the stars and who
superintends good times and bad. Those who do, find the same peace Job
discovered in the midst of his trials when he declared, “Should we
accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?”
Job 2:10
God, who holds all things together by the word of His power (Hebrews
1:3), will surely hold our families together as we brave the trail set
before us.
From Crosswalk.com, by Kim Weir
April 22, 2007 at 10:14 am |
i had a dream yesterday. i was the “anchor” for the 4 x 100 relay (must be too much of amanda). Needed to take a cab to the stadium, mid-way, the driver dropped me at a sort of no-man’s land. i wandered into the estate, which was damp and dark and filled with people of sorts (mostly grumpy and dumpy and …..) and dog and cats! (which i managed to fling off me). In order to get out, i had to climb up a steep tower to reach a very big & brightly-lit pool filled with people happily wading & swimming. On reaching the top, i was suddenly sucked into a tunnel which took me across the pool and i landed in a room, very serene, there were people i know, but cannot recall. As i looked around, Bernard came running in – and i asked: ” Han, i thought you were dead?” He smiled & said “nooh, i am alive!” and to be sure, i hugged him, touched his face and although the feel was different, i knew he is alive …… he looks radiant & he smiled again.
Thank you Lord for the dream which i had been waiting.
April 24, 2007 at 7:03 am |
Recently in the past months since my uncle passed away, i have also lost a few loved ones taken by death… my cousin, my beloved dog – couch, and most recently a very close family friend, uncle fred, who believed in me and took pride in me. With so many passings, i didnt know how to feel… lost, sad, or just numb. I questioned God, i was angry with Him, at his selfishness… But at the same time, i started to imagine my loved ones in Heaven, how God must have been there with them before bringing them home… how they must be living such a carefree life, watching over us… With these thoughts in mind, and with the reminder of the sacrifice Christ made on Good Friday, his love, and how he gave his sacrifice to us to use as something to beg God for mercy with, i saw his immense love for us…
Indeed, in the words,
`Eternal God, I offer you, the body and blood, soul and divinity of your dearly beloved Son, our Lord Jesus Christ in attonement for our sins, and those of the whole world.`
that Christ gave to St Fuastina (when he appeared to her) for the world to seek his Divine Mercy, I realised that he was so loving. What right did we have to offer Christ`s sacrifice to attone our sins? Yet Jesus Himself gave us those words so that we may seek God`s mercy.
Through these reflections and in God`s own way of healing my hurts, i spontaneously came up with a phrase that summed up my sadness as well as my hope in God`s love.
~ Death takes away the ones we love, but returns to God the ones he loves.~
May 23, 2007 at 2:37 am |
Hi Sir! … Long overdue … I am writing to you from Australia, all made possible by you. I remember the interview leading to this SPA, your frequent ‘updates’ on what the board were focusing on … I can say thank you enough (though they never asked those questions!) But most of all I will remember your disappointment when you came down after the interview to tell me “you screwed up lah”. The expression on your face and the anguish, was, should I say more intense than my own.
I thank you for your interest in our well being, your interest in our development, your interest in our growth. I can only remember one other person that would do all that for us, unconditionally – Our Heavenly Father.
As Paul wrote “God did not create us to suffer the wrath but to attain salvation through Jesus Christ” … your presence on earth was that salvation for many of us and I am sure in your eternal life now, you continue to watch over us all.
June 12, 2007 at 3:25 am |
Han, how i missed u. But in recalling what i read of John Main ( a benedictine monk and), one of the 20th century most important spiritual guide, i take consolation and my hope renewed:-
“About this time, 1958, a nephew of mine, one of my sister’s children, became seriously ill and died. The death of this child had an enormous effect on me and brought me face to face with the question of life and death and the whole purpose of existence. As I (John Main) reviewed my life at this time, I was forcibly struck by the fact that the most important thing in my entire existence was my daily meditation. I decided, therefore, to structure my life on meditation and sought to do so by becoming a monk.”
……. Becoming a monk was not an escape but rather the discovery of a new and more ultimate path of growth. He always had and he always would respond to misfortune by expansion of heart. He took the name of John, the disciple of love. ……
He spoke of death as an essential part of the life-process and meditation as the way we enter the paschal mystery. As he approached death, he lived as fully and loved as selflessly as he had ever done. It was increasingly clear to him and to those who were caring for him that the Master he served was calling him to the even greater service of love through a faithful death. It was so clear because as he travelled into the light that shone so brilliantly in his heart, it made his Master visible. The light shone in his flesh. His teaching became perfected in silence. The freedom he had sought in the monastry now transcended all limitations and travelled the paths of the Spirit with Jesus who greeted him and led him past the final boundary. ….. The real freedom is not the freedom to do but to be
July 3, 2007 at 1:34 pm |
Dear Sir,
As army term is coming to an end, I cant help but hear and see the things that you have taught me though the years.. either in the capacity of a great boss or as a friend. Everytime someone mentioned these things, your image flash past me for that instant and makes me feel that you have touched my life more than what I sometimes think it had. I even lectured fellow students on issues that you have once lectured me on. The student have become a teacher. I may never touch the lives of so many that you had, but I will strive to touch the lives of the few in my life. You live through us and the people we touch. And for that, I am forever grateful…
July 8, 2007 at 9:13 am |
some light moment on Cayla, the product of you.
One night after dinner, she went round the dining table sticking stickers of Jesus, Mary and angels on all of us and declare herself the “giver of heaven”! Before we could digest her proclamation, she went up to Clare and said, “you cannot go to heaven because you and i have to stay behind and look after mommy’s things when mommy go to heaven to look for daddy!”
we just burst out laughing. She is so000, so like you when you – full of surprises!
July 15, 2007 at 11:20 am |
Dear Sir,
At last… you came to see me in my dreams. Though just a fleeting instance, it was worth the wait. I asked you why you always sit on my left and not my right. You didn’t answer, but instead gave a nod and smiled. You then stood up and walked to the back of the room to talk to a crowd of uniformed personnel. You looked happy. You must know that Claire and Cayla are doing well. The Claire that used to talk about lizards crawling up walls have matured to one that holds table top conversations. I felt weird carrying her… She has outgrown that. Cayla still surprise me with her ‘i like you… carry me’ tricks… Was a pretty lousy day yesterday but meeting WC and the two girls changed it.
Oh… and tks for the NAC thingy… I know you are watching over me… I know…
August 13, 2007 at 4:10 pm |
Sir,
Miss you so much, could feel your presence during worship…I know you are in a better place, Your words of wisdom always bring a smile and still very much the beacon of light guiding me. Caught the TVC a couple of weeks ago, yes the advert is back. Ha.. can still remember you walking into our office with a cd and so excited at the production. It’s great:)
August 29, 2007 at 2:17 pm |
Sir,
The exhibition is good-to-go! Just came back from setting up the place. Cant believe that its happening! It seems like yesterday when I first started this project. Wouldn’t have done it without you watching behind me. And I know you’re be there for the opening…. Tks sir.
August 31, 2007 at 4:40 am |
Hi han, just the other day mum was sharing a prog she heard over the radio & was really upset as the speaker condemned the ones died young. She argued that you are the best of her brood and yet the first to be called Home, so how could that condemnation be justified. AND there is also Gabriel, the 16 year old who had recently returned to the Lord. When the school & congregration attending the service were consoled that the Lord calls Home those He loved dearly, there were heard murmurings that in that case, better not to be loved. i WONDER why one seek BAPTISM.
Anyway, it’s not for me to judge – all i believe & trust is you are with Him now, so pray for us, pray for our Conversion, which ultimately, is “the turning of our heart totally to the Father. It is also essentially a conversion to Christ. It is a conversion of the heart to Christ (‘heart’ in the blibical sense, meaning the centre of one’s personality, the seat of one’s spirit, one’s freedom, one’s attachment). A heart turned towards Christ; a heart inhabited by Christ, filled with Him; a heart assimilated to Christ, taking on His values and judgements and point of view regarding God, the world, life, man.” Only then can we be detached. Be seeing you & love you always.
September 1, 2007 at 10:36 am |
I did it! And I know you were there with me… I dedicated it to you for my determination and strength comes from your love for me.
September 8, 2007 at 11:22 pm |
hi han, as i was in my quiet time this morning, i wasn’t feeling sad but somehow, tears kept rolling – your presence was felt. When i read the papers this morning – amanda’s thoughts of you, i understood. Thank you for your prayers. Love you always.
September 27, 2007 at 2:09 pm |
Hi sir,
Your baby project opened today! Your vision and passion accounts for a large part of its success… Congratulations!
September 30, 2007 at 7:55 pm |
Bernard my friend,
Though I was not there at the opening of the Army Museum, I am sure you’d be most pleased. These things are really up your alley
How I wish that you are still around to see it thru.
Missing a comrade and friend to march along side with for the next bound of my journey. Your support, encouragement and advice would have been most cherished. It’d have been fun too
Will make sure I enjoy it doubly on your behalf!
cj
October 3, 2007 at 12:19 am |
The Army Museum is up, the NS40 book has been published.
I can only say the obvious: The journeys and results would have been different if Bernard was around.
October 13, 2007 at 10:07 am |
Hi han, manda & her team are now ready for Thailand. When they were first not selected, i never gave up and believed she never too, for in our silence, we knew you would be intercessing for her. i also told Fred to do his job, he had always loved the 2 girls and proud of them too. Thanks Han and Fred. Love you always.
October 27, 2007 at 7:25 am |
The Army LIVE TV ad has won a number of awards at the 2007 Asia Film, Video and Digital Media Awards, taking Silver for the government category, Bronze for film direction and Gold for cinematography.
I’ve always like that ad for being real and inspiring. Pity they don’t air it more.
November 29, 2007 at 11:36 am |
Someone (I never found out who!) from SAFTIMI HQ called on the phone today. It struck me how much he sounded like Bernard. It was nice to remember Bernard’s voice and know that I can still recognise it.
This reminds me of the question: How do I recognise the voice of God? (How do I know it’s Him communicating with me?) The answer is you will always recognise the voice of someone you know: mother, father, son, daughter, husband, wife, good friend.
Not rocket science. Just relationship.
December 7, 2007 at 1:14 am |
Attended the ARMS appreciation dinner last night. COA acknowledged Bernard’s role to start the museum project in his speech.
December 13, 2007 at 3:02 pm |
Its been a while… losing a little control over what i can do in life…. guide me.
December 15, 2007 at 5:28 am |
Hi Alex, if you go visit Bernard at OLPS, try walking over to the priest house/Secretariat, go down the steps where you will find the Adoration Room. Spend some quiet time there. It has been my place of refuge and consolation.
Food for thought from The Imitation of Christ – “Jesus has now many lovers of His heavenly kingdom but few bearers of His Cross:
To many this seems a hard saying: “Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Jesus” (Mt 16:24) …… Why then are you afraid to take up that cross, which leads to the kingdom? In the cross there is salvation; in the cross there is life; in the cross there is protection from your enemies; in the cross there is infusion of heavenly sweetness; in the cross there is strength of mind; in the cross there is spiritual joy; in the cross there is compendium of virtue; in the cross there is the perfection of sanctity. …..
If you bear the cross willingly, it will bear you and lead you to the desired end; that is, to that place where suffering will end, a thing which cannot happen here on earth. If you bear it unwillingly, you make it a burden to you and make it heavier, while, nevertheless, you have to bear it. If you fling away one cross, you will certainily find another, and perhaps a heavier one. …
It is not easy for a man to bear the cross, to love the cross, to chastise the body and reduce it to servitide; to run away from honours, willingly to suffer reproached, to despise oneself, and desire to be despised; to tolerate all adversities and losses, and not desire prosperity in this world. If you look at yourself, you can do nothing of this by yourself. But if you confide in the Lord, strength will come to you from Heaven, and the world of the flesh will be made subject to you. Neither will you fear the internal enemy, if you will be armed with faith and signed with the Cross of Christ …. “
January 13, 2008 at 5:15 pm |
went to pray for koo and my granddad on new year’s day and a funny incident happened. i started to talk to koo in my heart and we were discussing his photo. He told me (in his usual lingo) luckily we changed his photo cos the old one was pretty bad and there were alot of people at his niche that day. For a moment i acutally laughed to myself and felt that the conversation really happened! What a precious moment it was for me…
what a year it has been and i still miss koo very much… and what a year this shall be for he will always be my inspiration.
January 29, 2008 at 3:23 pm |
Hi Sir,
Your article “Putting People First” was circulated at our retreat. It’s really heartening to know that your legacy continues and you’re still very much a part of the organisation…..Of cos no one can match your delivery:)
Really miss you Sir…your counsel…your friendship
February 1, 2008 at 3:22 pm |
Hey buddy.
Will be starting to work out one of your most cherished hopes…to be Chairman Exco
Look out for it for next year, hope can we can do some justice and live up to your expectations.
Also a little late, but this year’s biathalon will be for you. So far so good, but painful training for it…
still so unreal after all this time…
March 25, 2008 at 9:43 pm |
Han, how i missed you! And the Lord whispered, “How dull you are! You fail to believe the message of the prohpehts. Then starting with Moses and going through the prophets, He explained to them everything in the Scripture concerning Himself. …. When they were at table, He took bread, said a blessing, broke it and gave each a piece. Then their eyes opened, and they recognised Him; … And they said, “Were not our hearts filled with ardent yearing when He was talking to us on the road and explaining the Scriptures?” Be seeing you, love you always.
March 26, 2008 at 12:00 am |
Remembering Bernard especially today.
March 27, 2008 at 8:14 am |
Hi Daddy,
Happy birthday!
Nice things have been happening while you were away. In school, I have a very nice teacher called Mrs Ong. We have been learning division and I don’t quite get it yet. Mrs Ong has been helping me and mummy is trying to help me get it too (well, she has been vomitting blood while teaching me).
I am still joining gymnastics as a ECA aka CCA. I am now with Prime and school. I have gymnastics 5(!) times a week. My schedule is:
Monday: swimming (I am stopping this for a while because mummy says my schedule is too packed).
Tuesday: gym
Wednesday: gym
Thursday: gym, ballet
Friday: home cell
Saturday: gym, ballet, gym
Sunday: church
Cayla has been going to kindergarten. Cayla loves her school. Mummy has been doing research work for aunty Vera and aunty Gen all at the same time!
What I enjoy most is gymnastics. It is so(ooo) fun that even Cayla is doing gym. What I hate most is Chinese. It is so hard!
Even though Chinese is so hard I still want to try my best and in the future, I want to get A* for Chinese, Maths, English and Science! GOD will help me if i pray. And it is very true! (I got 49.5/50 for maths!)
I miss you alot now that you are gone.I really wanted to go to the zoo with you again.
I got to go!
love, your dearest Claire
May 4, 2008 at 2:24 pm |
was talking to my friend yesterday as he recounted how he served in 3rd guards after koo left as 7th brigade commander. his last statement struck me: “everyone in 3rd guards would know your uncle. He is a legend in there.”
May 12, 2008 at 3:03 pm |
To Bernard’s family,
I was someone who knew your dad when I served more than 10years ago, I wasn’t in his company in 3rd Gds. My fellow mates who were in Bernard’s company respected him a lot. If you really know SAF well, this is very telling and extremely rare.
We served our 2.5years liability with certain mixture of joy & drudgery. And my mind, we were commanders. If you had taken a straw poll amongst all the Captains in that battalion, it goes without saying who all of us rather lead us, anytime. As we know fully well, actions in the field that shreds one’s cloak and thy true self is all that is left for us to see. We all knew who walk the talk and who simply just talk the talk. He is a consummate and true professional. But all these praises mean the least of all in my estimation, as it’s my opinion that it is as a father and a man (How Bernard lived his life that he truly stands apart from all his peers)! Look up HBO’s Band of Brothers, Maj Dick Winters. That’s how the men truly think of your dad.
Now that I have children of my own, if only my children loved me half as much as you love your dad, I’ll consider myself truly blessed and contented. That’s what I strive to aspire each day moving forward. That’s truly MAKETH MAN!
May 17, 2008 at 9:11 am |
At last, IMDRs have cometh…. I remember those Macdonald trips during lunch time at Kallang and late night supper at Oasis… I miss those days. So different now.. Maybe I’ve grown up or maybe because you’re not by my side…
Give me strength and give me reason…
Cheong ah!!!
June 6, 2008 at 5:04 am |
Hi han, when wancheng came and offered seedmoney for szemying if she needed to help start her artcademy, i just went ……. i remember telling you often that when i go, you look after my kids! And even now, you having returned home before me, you are still out there looking after my kids! i miss you, terribly. And thanks, WanCheng. the spirit of Bernard lives on.
June 16, 2008 at 3:34 pm |
Eh bro, Reading all these in your blog, I can’t just keep quiet anymore. Recalling the past always cause my eyes and nose to flood, so I’ll look on the brighter side since you’ve decided to run ahead of me.
Recently, my heart bypass was one experience I will never forget. They stopped my heart for almost 6 hours to do some repair job. As they were working relentlessly, I found myself trekking in a strange place and fell into a deep huge red tunnel with red walls all around. The surrounding area where I stood was dim and towaards the seemingly endless tunnel it was complete darkness . There was absolute silence as I tried frantically to find a way out of that errie place ! The tunnel seems to be completely sealed ! with approx 2 storey high ceiling.
As I walked towards the dark end of the tunnel, suddenly, I heard a roaring sound approaching me from the dark. It grew louder and the sound was extremely earth shattering, like a huge tunneling machine.
I ran but found myself cornered as there were no way out. In desperation,
I looked up and cried out “Lord ! Lord ! please save me ! ”
As I yelled at the top of my voice, I saw a dazzling light appear from the ceiling of the tunnel where I stood, and in a split moment, I was out of the tunnel ! As I opened my eyes, I found in the ICU ward of the NHC.
So, Han, afterthought, – I really believe you were there with the Lord to get me out of the darkness. ( my heart doc told me I had a heart attack during the ops )
Keep in touch.
With Love, Bro.
Thanks bro,
July 9, 2008 at 4:34 pm |
Nearly rained last Sat during the rehearsal… When it didn’t, Boon Khai commented:” The power of prayers”…. Same words you used in 03… So surreal…
July 24, 2008 at 4:32 am |
Hi Han, it’s funny how you got me in Melbourne on my first night. (Thank You, Lord) As i walked the streets the days following, it was like we are doing the hols all over again. i’ve offered Mass for this 26th and would be every month till we meet. Love you and miss your presence.
July 25, 2008 at 2:46 pm |
My friend, NDP08 is just two weeks away. The show is good to go. Through this journey, God has again strengthened my faith. Only in Him, we have hope and life. Continue to watch over all of us. This NDP is my personal dedication to you.
August 10, 2008 at 3:15 am |
Every year, when I see that sea of red at the national day parade, I remember Bernard.
August 11, 2008 at 5:06 am |
Weather forecast for NDP – Thunder showers with lightning between 5-7pm. The weatherman must have made a mistake or there was a strange change in wind condition. Either way, you must have been listening. Tks sir!
August 13, 2008 at 5:27 pm |
Sir, pls make me strong for my parents… and especially for my sister.
September 23, 2008 at 4:17 am |
Dear koo,
It’s crazy how Cayla’s soooo much like you -
the way she gorges herself silly with whatever die-die-must-have-food-of-the-month
down the one way road to negative marginal utility then
solemnly swears never to touch it for the next few years -
only to discover a new crave and there she goes all over again. sigh.
And wahlau, her smelly-typeness (chow kuan) is smellier than yours lor -
and I bet you can smell it too right from where you are! heh!
Only she’d finish her pack of gummy bears,
beg claire (whom you know as usual will savour every last limb of the gummy bear) to share hers with her,
and promptly throws a tantrum at Claire for being the most selfish person in the world?!
Wuahahaha! So typical.
Hmm.. i’m also pretty sure you’ve met your match in her
and you won’t just be fighting with Amanda for that last prawn floating in the steamboat!
Her words are as sweet – and sharp – as yours – and you know she’s up to something.
Her smooth moves and way with people, and the way she dumbfounds us with her witty wisecracks.
The latest one at her birthday party when she whispered to Aunt Maureen:
“I don’t know whyyyyyy gugu invited two people I don’t know…”
and when she told her mum (who had rested her foot on her chair..):
“Mummy, how can you put your foot on the birthday girl’s chair???” ahahahahaha!
Not to mention the sidesplitting mispronunciations when she gets her tongue all in a twist -
didn’t know pronouncing ‘selling’ as ‘siao-ling’ and ‘vanilla’ as ‘valinna’, was genetic!!
Man! She’s even got your penchant for the hottest wheels, and she can spot a Honda jazz from miles away.
She’s grown to become such a vivacious and gregarious character,
and it’s hard to get mad at her the way it’s hard to get mad at you -
even though BOTH of you are equally demanding and spoilt!
We miss you loads, but from the way the girls and Ah kim’s managing soooo well,
I’d bet every last limb of Claire’s gummy bears that
you’ve been praying for us and keeping watch all this while.
Sometimes, when I’m laughing at Cayla, I get a sense you’re there laughing with us,
and my heart smiles too.
September 23, 2008 at 10:24 am |
hi han, yes, szemying said it all. i also remember when cayla was “made”, how you planned it all. We will shower her and claire with all our love, just as how we loved you! miss you, terribly.
October 7, 2008 at 2:24 pm |
I sometimes see things the way you had taught me to observe…
I listen to small voices like you had listened to mine…
I speak my mind and heart as you had always done so…
Although we cant walk the path together, I’m sure I’m never alone.
As I live my life, I live it through your memories and legacy.
And that is the greatest blessing of all…
November 13, 2008 at 5:53 pm |
Well the biathalon came and gone and it was good fun and it was good remembering you in that event.
We’d be expanding the approach and I always remember you telling me about how you envision the Civil Defence siren going off and at exactly the same time, everyone stands to attention all around the country and recite the pledge etc. I always thought you were ‘mad’ 
And also now, in the midst of building up to NDP09. No wonder you enjoy it so…so fun
Well, I remember this vision of yours very well …while not quite sirens and all that, but will try something…and may be quite possible in a different form perhaps. See how…Hope you’d like what has been worked out for next year!
Meanwhile, got to sort out our 2-sided Ex opponents first
November 18, 2008 at 10:36 am |
hi han, if only you are around ……. wherever you are, hear me ok?
November 21, 2008 at 1:05 am |
Hi koo, finally, ARTcademy is going to start.
Just clinched my 1st deal today – with FMPS.
Thanks for your prayers!
Remember how we used to talk about my business plans?
Get a group of art teachers and be the new MOE so art teachers won’t have to suffer in schools?
It seems like such an immense task – and i have no business brains, so yeah, please inspire me???!! Haha!
And when i retire, claire looks set to be the new principal in artcademy la!
haha!
Miss you loads.
Mying.
November 27, 2008 at 4:41 am |
Bro, Ever since I heard Robin Mark from your collection, I got addicted to his songs. Recently, he came out with a new album called “East of the River” which I added to my collection. Some tracks are repeats from the old ones but a few new compos like “Heaven’s Gate” “Fortress” and “Lost and Found” sounds really good and inspiring.
This school hols we’re supposed to take your two gals out to the zoo, but my health’s not too good lately plus commitment with our prayer groups
really tied us down. Anyway, we’ll go for it as soon as we’re fit.
Looking through some of my videos the other day really brings back memories of good ol days.
Keep in touch bro,
Jer.
December 2, 2008 at 3:52 pm |
dear koo,
tears stream freely whenever i recall you,
the memories so fresh, your presence so true.
my mind will never forget,
and my heart simply wont let,
anything and everything that we ever shared.
if i could just see you,
i certainly know what i’d do,
a heartfelt hug to feel your presence,
and to help and comfort me through your absence.
dear han koo,
i really miss you.
manda
December 9, 2008 at 3:04 am |
Family events just not the same without you around. But I’m sure one day we’ll all meet again up there. Or maybe everybody else and not me, coz I’m pretty sure I’ll only be able to haul my fatass up to purgatory at most. I’ll send you an sms when I’m there ok?
December 10, 2008 at 2:34 pm |
Tks for the good weather last weekend.. the thunderstorm was a good touch!
January 4, 2009 at 5:53 am |
Hi han, so you having a good time with families hah. i was sitting before your niche the other day (never had the courage to do it before) and a sense of peace pervaded – just like i was in the adoration room in Jesus’ presence. i miss you, terribly, terribly, but i am also excited and i am sure you know why.
“Faith is simply : i believe, it is so, i am certain of it, because He has said it.”
February 23, 2009 at 4:08 pm |
Been a while since i checked in.. been busy.. too busy.. but the constant thoughts of our anticipated new arrival keeps me going.. Its an amazing feeling.. Things have been going on pretty smoothly.. And I know you’re behind it all..
Thank you….
March 13, 2009 at 5:37 am |
March is here again; you are so near and yet soooooooo far.
March 14, 2009 at 7:39 am |
yup march is here again. how time flies and yet i still miss you just as much, even more. i still think about you just as much, smile and beam with pride every time i talk about you, and wish so hard i could just see you again. its been 3 years now and i still expect your presence and cannot imagine your absence. whatever it is, i know you are near. Thanks for today. was really afraid i’ll lose the race and decided to go visit your niche for a little encouragement and to say a small prayer. how apt when i saw the phase “i have fought a good fight, i have finished the course, i have kept the faith”. it really reminded me to just go all out and do my best with what i have, while always trusting in God to do the rest according to His Will. I was amazingly calm throughout and i won the race. thanks koo.
March 17, 2009 at 11:58 am |
Another biathlon, another year…remembering you as I swam and ran, wondering what went thru your mind during the race….
…seems more painful than last year
lol, of course. We are all a year older while you remain that snap-shot-you at your prime! 
Really counting down to NDP. Many new ideas this year that you’d be proud of…and now is in the final prep run in…
see ya there
March 24, 2009 at 6:12 am |
Hey Sir,
Happy Birthday! Remember what you said about Birthdays? That it’s only meaningful when people around u celebrate the day cos they are thankful for the difference YOU’ve made in their lives.
Yes, we are! Thanks so much:) Let’s celebrate…Happy Birthday!
Miss u
March 26, 2009 at 1:07 am |
There’s a land that is fairer than day,
And by faith we can see it afar;
For the Father waits over the way
To prepare us a dwelling place there.
In the sweet
By and by
We shall meet on that beautiful shore;
In the sweet
By and by
We shall meet on that beautiful shore.
~ Samuel F. Bennett and J. P. Webster
For those who believe, we will meet Bernard again with Jesus.
March 26, 2009 at 1:08 pm |
Been a tough day for sara and I… But thoughts of you and the advice that you’ll give really kept me positive… Miss you much..
March 26, 2009 at 4:32 pm |
Hi buddy,
Remembering you as always…
April 10, 2009 at 5:47 pm |
Hi Koo,
There is not a day that goes by in which i have not thought of you.
Whether it’s because i need help with the weather, or just cracking up over some of your silly ways – playing themselves out in the form of claire or cayla, or through ah kim’s and mum’s account of you and how full of shit you were, heh, or about the daydreams and crazy ideas we used to have about the businesses we’d set up to make it rich…. man, i miss u loads.
April 20, 2009 at 8:18 am |
Just passing through again, ah han chek.
Once again I was just telling to some friends abt you, one of the nicest and most happening people on Earth (and in heaven currently). Everyone tells me that you’re like one of the most awesome uncles anyone can have.
ive also been looking upon my memories of you as an inspiration everytime i take a fall. honestly, ive done plenty of fallin lately as i scrabble around on the floor, desperate to find some answers. though i havent found all of them yet, im still soldiering on, hoping that someday, i can at least achieve a fragment of what you’ve managed to accomplish.
ill be seeing you someday, ah han chek…
April 26, 2009 at 3:49 pm |
Remembered some of the things you have taught me and used them to the fullest. I gave a good account of our unit in this exercise that you will be very proud of.
May 2, 2009 at 4:00 am |
eddy & i drove past werner’s the other day and he asked, “have we eaten there before?” Tears welled as flashes of you, the trotters, goulash …. flooded my memories; we didn’t have erdinger then but good coffee. i kept silent, prayed and realised that my pain was for loss of your company, the good food ……
sharing my pain and loss of you with Him helps release me from these earthly attachments and slowly, slowly, i can feel His peace and joy percolating within as i knew you are better off than me – hahaha.
When i read Chuan Jin in the STP recently, heading NDP 09, i no longer felt the loss & the stab in my heart; instead, i could feel you with the joy of wishing him every success and cheering him on.
i love you and still misses you but because Jesus has risen (we are still in the Easter season) i will see you again. Thank You, Lord.
May 3, 2009 at 1:10 am |
http://www.ndp.org.sg/chairman.php
July 3, 2009 at 3:01 am |
hi han, i have been like asking to chat with you every night before i go to bed; either He answered and i am ever so forgetful, not remembering our conversation or am among the blessed who believe without seeing – today’s reading John 20:29 Feast of St Thomas, apostle.
“FAITH ….. is …. simultaneously a turning to God and a turning away from God’s creatures – a blocking out of the visible in order to see the invisible….” (Basil Pennington)
July 12, 2009 at 3:23 pm |
At last… Yr One-Pledge idea is becoming a reality! Its 6 yrs late but better late than never….
July 21, 2009 at 4:22 pm |
Yup, it is really going to happen….
http://www09.ndp.org.sg/ndp09/822.php
August 7, 2009 at 3:38 pm |
Hey Sir,
U r gonna love this NDP:) Miss u loads, so much to share
August 8, 2009 at 4:32 pm |
wish us well
At 8.22pm. Civil Defence Sirens will chime, over 700 locations around Singapore will lead the people in their premises to take our pledge, and many more overseas as well.
August 8, 2009 at 11:55 pm |
sea of red
pledge moment
August 10, 2009 at 10:23 am |
Everything in NDP09 reminded me of you, and it really felt as if you were orchestrating the whole thing and might have emerged from the grandstands at the end to ‘hao lian’ to us how this and that were all your brilliant ideas.
Missing you loads.
August 11, 2009 at 10:23 am |
NDP brought back such wonderful memories of you and it brought me back to 2003 seeing you standing there leading everything and feeling so damn proud of you. it reminded me of all the times you came over to our place with NDP songs and ideas and asking for our opinions as we slammed you and praised you as you hao lian to us all your wonderful ideas. you really do live on in our memories and its so hard remembering you arent here cos really, your presence is still so strong.
NDP this yr would truly be stg that u would have been proud of cos it was exactly like how you would have liked it, unconventional, engaging and uniting singaporeans to truly feel the singapore spirit. your pledge moment and sea of red idea has indeed created unique NDP moments that make people feel singaporean. as i was thinking about you today, i realised something else that you have taught me and perhaps contributed to my achievements. koo, you taught me (and perhaps alot of other singaporeans), what it is to be singaporean, to love singapore and give of your best. because that is what you did, and that is what you have achieved. trends, tears and pride for the nation.
August 11, 2009 at 3:32 pm |
And it was all good….
August 14, 2009 at 3:37 pm |
It’s been hard trying to let go.
And maybe, i just don’t want to….
Help me get through this.
love and miss you loads.
August 30, 2009 at 7:06 pm |
To the family,
I somehow chanced upon this website after hearing about the significance of the 822 pledge reciting. I was working under COL Bernard in G1 Army as a project clerk in one of the branches. Here was a man so committed about National Education – he would task one of the graduate PSC scholars serving his NS in the department to organize activities and report to him for approval. This was on top of his regular work, he genuinely hoped to get his staff more involved with Singapore history and traditions.
No disrepect, but on my regular trips to the water cooler from the next office, I would see him standing along the walkway outside the G1 office with that distinctive grin on his face. I guess you understand what I mean. I always thought that he reminded me of a Cheshire cat. Nevertheless, his jovial demeanor did make the work environment light-hearted.
I do hope the NDP brought fond memories of your Father – a great man with a big heart.
September 23, 2009 at 3:01 pm |
And his name is Luke…
October 15, 2009 at 2:24 pm |
Before I forget the dream:
You were standing among a group of soldiers. You were in yr uniform, SBO and weapon. I took a photo and looked into the camera screen. Strangely, everyone was in the shadows while u were in the sunlight. I tot it was a well taken shot. Very artistic. When I went in close for a tighter shot, you began to pose for me. The trees in the background changed to buildings (one of them reminded me of UOB building). And then I took two shots. And you smiled.
And I woke up. Smiling.
November 10, 2009 at 9:27 am |
hi han, as the reading from the Book of Wisdom was spoken this morning, i realised that i still miss you terribly, but as frFred said, blessed are them (u) ….. for
“… God did make man imperishable,
He made him in the image of His own nature;
it was the devil’s envy that brought death into the world,
as those who are his partners will discover.
But the souls of the virtuous are in the hands of God,
no torment shall ever touch them.
In the eyes of the unwise, they did appear to die,
their going looked like a disaster,
their leaving us, like annihilation;
but they are in peace.
If they experienced punishment as men see it,
their hope was rich in immortality;
slight was their affliction, great will their blessings be.
God has put them to the test
and proved them worthy to be with Him; … “
November 28, 2009 at 7:34 am |
Saw Cayla performing in the graduation concert yesterday. Pleasantly surprised as I was there to witness my 3rd son’s graduation too. I spotted her at the corner in the first segment with the unmistakable grin that was so you but was not quite sure until they announced her name. She performed very well and truly a natural on stage. I must say none of your kids look like you, perhaps it is a blessing?? But they appear to have your exuberance, enthusiasm, love to be in the spotlight attitude
We are about to conclude the month of November which is when our church remembers our dearly departed. Continue to pray for us mortals that are still struggling with life on earth
December 8, 2009 at 10:17 am |
hi Han, Our Lord must have heard mum’s conversation with you! Yep, by the grace of God, we celebrated her birthday, not only ourselves meaning the Chooz with wancheng, claire and cayla but also with Jery and his whole family! (usually, it is hard to even invite them as they are always so very very busy)
After cutting her cake and making her wish aloud, mum whispered into my ear saying : “i spoke with ah han you know (i have his photo at my bedside). I told him that after he left, the family is no longer the same, fragmented and no one seems to want to get together (and of course remebering her birthday s you are always the initiator )…….”
Hearing mum, i understood why Jery insisted on coming to my place for dinner yesterday although i told him i didnt have enough food for them as i had already done my marketing for only 7 + mum. But we had a good time nonetheless, even with the little food – like the multiplication of loaves hahaha.
Thank you Lord, for the intervention and han, do continue to pray for the family, especially for the few wandering siblings who have yet to encounter our Lord and as Jesus says, “I have told you all this so that you may find peace in me. In the world you will have hardship, but be courageous: I have conquered the world.”
March 1, 2010 at 3:42 am |
hi han, we celebrated Claire’s birthday yesterday – wanted to bring her to megumi but the kiasu her – got to sleep eary for her CA today …. hmmm so we ended up at megumi instead.
she was quiet throughout and i guess she misses you; as i did at Mass this morning. Love you.
March 24, 2010 at 2:51 am |
happy birthday koo!!! i still miss you terribly.
cant believe that it has been 4 yrs since i last saw you. wished i had gone along with you guys to haagen daaz. it has been my biggest regret.
March 24, 2010 at 5:57 am |
Happy Birthday Sir…
March 24, 2010 at 1:27 pm |
Sir,
Happy Birthday! Miss u….
March 25, 2010 at 6:05 pm |
My friend,
Remembering you again during our swim and run a few weeks ago…
We are in exciting times as we press on with interesting ideas to engage and to develop our people.
March 26, 2010 at 9:30 am |
Bernard lives. We’ll met him again on that Beautiful Shore.
April 3, 2010 at 2:36 am |
Good Friday is the day of greatest hope, Benedict XVI said tonight at the end of the Way of the Cross at Rome’s Colosseum.
Speaking from atop the Palatine hill, he noted that during the Via Crucis one rediscovers “how profound is the love [Christ] has had, and has for us.”
“This night we have contemplated Jesus’ face full of pain, ridiculed, insulted, disfigured by the sin of man,” the Pontiff continued. “Tomorrow night we will contemplate his face full of joy, radiant and luminous.
“Since the moment Christ was placed in the sepulcher, the tomb and death are no longer hopeless places where history is closed with the most complete failure, where man touches the ultimate limit of his powerlessness.”
“Good Friday is the day of greatest hope, which matured on the cross,” the Holy Father affirmed.
Benedict XVI recalled that when Christ died, he cried out, “Father into your hands I commend my spirit.”
“Surrendering his existence, given into the hands of the Father, he knows that his death becomes fount of life,” the Pope explained. “As the seed in the ground has to be broken so the plant can grow. If the grain of wheat fallen in the earth does not die, it remains alone, but if it dies, it bears much fruit.
“Jesus is the grain of wheat that falls in the earth, is torn, is broken, dies, and because of this, can bear fruit.”
He continued: “From the day on which Christ was raised up on it, the cross, which looks like a sign of abandonment, loneliness and failure, has become a new beginning. From the depths of death is raised up the promise of eternal life; upon the cross already shines the victorious splendor of the Easter dawn.”
The Pope reflected on how the Church now waits for Easter Sunday, for “the dawn of the third day, the dawn of the victory of the love of God, the dawn of the light that enables the eyes of the heart to see life, difficulties and suffering in a new way.”
“Our failures, our disillusions, our bitterness that seem to signal the collapse of everything, are enlightened by hope,” he said. “The act of love of the cross, confirmed by the Father and the radiant light of the resurrection, envelops and transforms everything.
“From betrayal, friendship can be born; from rejection, pardon; from hate, love.” – Zenit.org
And Han, this blog which vera sets up for you more than 4 years ago and still alive, is testimony of “If the grain of wheat fallen in the earth does not die, it remains alone, but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” Although i miss the many things we do, my heart aches less for i know i’m gonna meet up with you, in God’s time.
May 26, 2010 at 7:15 am |
We guys from 3rd Guards, 9th mono intake will never forget a brilliant personality like our CO, Bernard Tan. Inform us if thers an opportunity where we can assemble to honour him once again… Together with our CO, Bernard Tan, we made history from SEP 1998 to SEP 2000…
June 23, 2010 at 7:24 am |
Hi ah han chek, hope you doing well up there.. im becoming fatter, hopefully not fattest. need to draw some inspiration from you to lose some weight.
life is what it is down here.. you wouldnt recognise SG now, especially since got so many more foreigners around. one thing’s for sure though.. your missed presence still sticks out like a sore thumb, whether it be in family gatherings or otherwise.. its like the fun has been sucked out of life or something. lost vibrance and all that, you know?
Anyway, just dropping by again. will be seeing you when i see you. maybe i wont see you so soon, coz i think i got too many sins, so got to stop by Purgatory to do some remedial training first before i am allowed into the pearly white gates..
Speaking of which, i hope heaven got no IPPT.. dont have right?
July 20, 2010 at 11:57 pm |
Wow, reading these comments and seeing the love people had for him moves my heart. It also makes me sad as I feel the loss. Death is never easy for us when we lose someone so special. It makes me realize just how important each one of us is and how precious our time on earth is. I pray for all of you who are still suffering from this loss. May God’s blessing be upon you!
Sean McVeigh
http://www.CatholicGuestSpeaker.comm
http://www.McVeighMinistries.com
August 26, 2010 at 4:31 am |
Hi han, wednesday is mostly if not always our quick dinner day. We were @ chuenchuen last night cos Cayla wanted her mango sago tinggy and the conversation floated to sudden death and goodbyes; and Cayla asked, “…. did daddy say his goodbye … ” Was going to say when God calls, there’s no time but decided she & Claire might not be ready. Instead, shared that that’s why it’s important for each of us to live each day fully, loved fully. This you had accomplished and that’s why you are in our hearts all time, living with us and loving with us and praying with us
And how apt it was when frAdrian this morning touched on the same, the Gospel for today being Matthew 24:42-51 “Be on your guard, then, because you do not know what day your Lord will come. …….. So then, you also must always be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an houor when you are not expecting him.” To me, if’s an affirmation that you were ready and like what szemying rationalised 4 years ago, you had to elope with God you loved so much
Be seeing you, in God’s time
September 23, 2010 at 7:35 am |
hey koo it’s cayla’s birthday today and it’s been a real busy day too. about to leave school when i thought of you and the blog. it’s always wonderful to come and see so many wonderful comments people have written about you.
what pher said is true. your absence is really sorely felt and each time i think about how you are gone forever, that feeling of disbelief still lingers. Well cayla has requested naan today so we’re bringing her out. she’s grown to be such a wonderful girl, real chirpy, whiny but really such a sunshine in everyone’s life! she is completely adored by everyone in her ballet class that claire proclaims the ballet teacher is bias! haha so much for having a face like yours eh!
well keep praying for me that I will have the strength like you to fight a good fight in the name of the Lord. missing you so much.
October 7, 2010 at 10:56 am |
hmmm manda, koo is not gone forever. The other day i was pestering our Lord to show me where he is and that’s what He said through frCharles Arminjon : “Gloomy death has taken away from you a son, whom, like the mother of Tobias, you called “the apple of our eyes, ….. Yet have you not obtained supernatural and glorious visions? Have your eyes not had a sort of glimpse of the heavenly future? In the light of divine contemplation you have perceived those dear, lamented beings, enjoying repose in a better world. In your inmost soul, you have heard them say: We are happy, and we await you.”
Yes, Han, i am excited
November 4, 2010 at 1:11 am |
i admire party planners coz they really know how to make a great and memorable party ‘
November 4, 2010 at 5:07 am |
We celebrate All Saints Day and All Souls Day on 1st & 2nd november respectively. Han, for me, the celebrations give me great comfort, especially so on reading Pope Benedict XVI’s reflection below:
“… that Christian death is part of the journey of assimilation to God, which will disappear when God is everything in all.”
“Although separation from earthly affection is certainly painful,” he continued, “we must not be afraid of it, because when it is accompanied by the prayer of suffrage of the Church, it cannot break the profound bonds that unite us to Christ.”
Quoting his encyclical “Spe Salvi,” the Pontiff also spoke of eternity, which he said is not “‘an unending succession of days in the calendar, but something more like the supreme moment of satisfaction, in which totality embraces us and we embrace [the] totality’ of being, of truth, of love.”
November 19, 2010 at 1:30 am |
Hey Sir,
So much to share…I know u’ll b happy for me. Miss u much
December 8, 2010 at 6:06 am |
Hi Ah han chek,
Time certainly passes by very fast. My last comment was in June but it seems that I made it only yesterday .. lol.
I hope you are doing fine. I always wondered how life is in heaven, but I think it must rock. I bet you’re probably sipping some wine sitting on a beach chair somewhere along some mountain top right?
Anyway, just dropping by again as usual. I’m sure with all the heavenly power flying around, you probably know how I’m doing right now in life.
I think I always need a bit of your willpower and inner strength and I pray for that every single day. I hope you can pray for me too, which probably is more effective since you’re already up there.
But you know what? Everytime I feel like my life sucks I always turn on the news. Seems like at any given moment there are always people who are worse off than I am. People dying in oppressed regimes. Nations fighting each other. Natural disasters. I hope you’ll pray for them too.
Anyway, back to work now. Always nice talking to you..
December 9, 2010 at 1:50 pm |
Dear Sir,
I remembered you today, and came across this site. I thank the site administrator for giving us a chance to talk to you this way. I don’t know if you’d remember me from the museum project, but I thank you for being such an inspiration. Thank you for telling us about the land of milk and honey. Thank you for the great leader you have been.
December 24, 2010 at 3:24 am |
Hi,
Went back for my In-Camp Training (ICT) earlier this month. Every time I go back for ICT, I always think of COL Bernard Tan, whom I had the privilege to serve when he was a Brigade Commander. This time, I missed him even more because, for some strange reason, the current Brigade Commander gives some sense of his presence due to his similar mannerism (less the quotable quotes)!
To be exact, (regretably) I only knew COL Bernard in person for slightly more than 3 weeks. I met COL Bernard in Dec 2003 when I went back for my ICT in Wallaby. As a typical NSmen, naturally I am less than pleased to be disrupted from my peaceful and happy life. So when I first met COL Bernard, he was to me, just another high flying scholar passing by. And perhaps, to him, I was just another character in his HQ.
However, over the next three weeks, I came to know a man who was dedicated to his family, his profession and his very diversed team. He had no airs, connected with every rank and file, and did not project a personality that was larger than himself. In the three weeks that we spent out in the field, never had I seen him raised his voice or thrown his weight even when everyone else was frustrated and tired. He exemplifies every of the seven core values (and more) required of an SAF Officer.
Being one of the rising star, one would think that he would be a very “corporate” person. However, I came to know a man who loves his family so much and respected others’ family time. He once said, “Give your best time to your family, and not the leftovers.” I didn’t quite appreciated his words then, until my daughter came in 2005. “Best time” far transcend what many people believe that it is enough to spend quality time. “Giving your best time” meant to me, not only physical presence with your family, it further meant that at any moment, in whatever one does, he/she does it for his/her family. Today, his words are always in my mind in every second I spent awake.
So yes, indeed, COL Bernard had descended as an eagle, moved swiftly as a gazelle, fought as a lion, and he left us with lasting memories that whisper to us like a sunrise sea-side breeze – cooling, full of hope.
Merry Christmas.
January 1, 2011 at 4:48 am |
“I am not always faithful, but i am never discouraged; i leave myself wholly in the arms of our Divine Lord; He teaches me to draw profit from all – both good and ill that He finds in me. (St John of the Cross). He teaches me to speculate in the Bank of Love, or rather it is He who acts for me without telling me how He goes to work, that is His affair and not mine; my part is complete surrender, reserving nothing to myself, not even the gratification of knowing how my credit stands with the Bank.” St Therese of the Child Jesus.
Hi han, as we gather at father’s niche for his 21st anniversary and seeing you there too, i take comfort in the thoughts of St Therese. Love you always
January 4, 2011 at 3:59 pm |
Its been a while… What a year 2010 was! So many things happened but they went past in a flash. So fast I cant even remember things I have done, people I have met and words that were spoken…
My instructors always ask me how my style of leadership and management comes about. And I always tell them I have great teachers. Great teachers who dont just preach and say about what is good and bad.. they are teachers who do and show greatness. I take pride everytime I use your words, your stories and your concepts to emphasize on certain messages that I want to impart to my younger colleagues as you have done the same for me previously.
Luke has grown into a healthy and talkative 16-month old boy. Very much like his father – quick tempered and restless! Nevertheless, despite my restlessness, I attempt to come home early to play with him and enjoy the moments which will soon disappear forever. As you said, family deserve yr best time, not leftovers.
As the light at the end of the tunnel becomes brighter and clearer, I tend to look back at the things that i had done and i must say they were without regrets. Maybe except one. That I had never told you that you had and will always be my most respected mentor and friend.
May you always watch over the 3 ladies and keep them safe.
Missing you.
Alex
March 9, 2011 at 12:43 pm |
My friend,
Time for me to move on from Our Army. It is getting more and more heart-rending as I come closer to end of March. I know it meant alot to you as it does to me…and like you always said, its about our people. And indeed it is.
I don’t think we can ever find a place like this. Well, I am sure you have and much better!
Perfect I am sure.
Take care!
cj
March 19, 2011 at 10:37 am |
Hi han, we are into the 5th year of your return to the real life. As i sit writing this reflection, i am sad (cos i missed cooking for you, bantering with you, you irritating me … ) but at the same time, felt a sense of peace, the peace and fulfilment you now enjoy with our Father.
Pope Benedict 16th was asked by Peter Seewald : ‘According to the Gospel of John, Jesus says at a certain key point that what counts is the mission of the Father: “And I know that his mission is everlasting life.” Is that the reason why Jesus came into the world?’ and his answer was : ‘Certainly. That is the important thing. That we become capable of God and so are enable to enter into eternal life. Yes, He came so that we might come to know the truth. So that we might touch God. So that the door might be open. So that we might find life, the real life, that is no longer subject to death.
March 24, 2011 at 1:59 am |
Hey Sir:)
Blessed Birthday! Still remember the huge birthday cake we had with you at the conference room 5 years ago. Have a good one:) Miss u much and do continue to watch over WC and the gals.
March 25, 2011 at 9:43 am |
hey koo,
yesterday was your birthday and tomorrow marks the 5th year since you left us. we went to megumi yesterday with ah kim and the girls purely out of cayla’s request and only then did i realise that it was exactly where you celebrated your last birthday with us. it was a bittersweet moment but ah kim suggested to claire that we make it a yearly affair in memory of you!
maybe we can add in haagen daaz after that too. haha
anyway, been going through a difficult time and i still don’t know God’s plan for me. (psst could you ask him to be more explicit????) pray for me please! ahh just talk to God straight la. I pray I will be as good as an example to my students as you were to your men. I really pray that I will lead by example and with passion and love of God like you did. And of cos, I really pray that I can run again (can you tell him i’m only 24 and i really dont need any more gel in my knee? that can actually wait till i’m like older???:) )
It’s been forever since i find myself being able to talk so candidly with you like that cos really i miss your presence so much. funny how everytime we eat porridge at home, i find the same image of you in my mind. walking from the lift in your uniform on a saturday afternoon, sitting down to a HUGE bowl of fish porridge and pouring chilli in (claire loves chilli now too!). sometimes it still feels so real, i half expect you to appear.
well watching the girls grow up now, sometimes i wished you were here to see how wonderful ah kim has brought them up to be. of cos at the same time, i wish they could have known you a little more and a little longer so that they know what an AWESOME father you are to them. well, just as how an AWESOME uncle you are to me, i’ll always try to be the best cousin to them too.
hmm just some random thoughts these days anyway hence the randomness of the writing
as pher says, it’s always great just to talk to you.
missing you always and remembering you now and always…
March 26, 2011 at 3:10 am |
Dear Daddy,
I am doing fine in school just that i do not like it:) I have made a lot of friends like Macy, Alyssa, Lea, Jacqueline (she is your friend aunty Boon Hui’s daughter), Cassendra…….. I like dancing. I do ballet, tap and jazz. I also do school gym. My gym teacher is very fierce. I do not like swimming but mummy says I have to learn how to swim.
I wish you had not died. I miss playing the animal game with you
Every time I see eagles I remember you. Because it is like you flying up to heaven.
LOVE,CAYLA
March 26, 2011 at 3:43 pm |
hi han, what serendipity manda talks about megumi. i didn’t go with them last thursday as i had to go to church and i remembered i didn’t go to hagaan daz with you people 5 years ago after running into you at megumi because i forgot that day was 24th march and went to church instead.
you are so near and yet so far; always in my heart but far up, like cayla said, in heaven. i am comforted
March 27, 2011 at 3:45 pm |
My friend…my days in Our Army that we love is running down. Time to move on.
You have been my buddy on my journey for a long time until we parted. It means a lot to have you there…as with other friends like Boon Khai, Nelson who were there to share the burden and the laughter. My Army life was made special because you had been a part of it. And as I spend my days reminiscing my time in Our Army, I remember…
When I first met you in UK…London. When you and the other seniors ‘whacked’ me and Yoke Chuang to buy you guys dinner…you all were kind since we went to Wong Kei…football and etc in London…
Guards Conversion Course…wah siong….ranger PT…Kian Hong’s dragon thingy…
OCs with Winston and gang in 3 Gds, and your first NDP cue master thingy…remember you wedding to Wan Cheng on one of the rehearsal nights…
99 Kings’ Ride in UK CSC…took over all your rice cooker, markers and dunno what…except your Volvo (?) sports car or something?
The infamous 3 Gds 9th Mono…hoo-ah! Tks for handing over a great Bn…well…kosong after all the men ORD…oh well. That’s the mono intake system for you…
Your mad-cap idea on the pledge that we made it happen!!! Tks bud! It was awesome and its continuing…will be Pledge Moment again for this year’s NDP 11.
And tks for handing over 7 SIB again to me
Am sure you must be kicking yourself for missing OFE 
But so very much appreciate the prayers and support…
And of course AC Pers while I was doing Plans…the canteen breaks…umm..discussions…your flavoured coffees in your office…(but I prefer the canteen ones actually…)
It has been a great journey my friend. Tks for being part of it.
cj
March 29, 2011 at 4:31 pm |
Hi sir,
didn’t know about this website till today thks to your buddy Chuan-Jin’s post on FB. Reading it resonated with precious memories of the Brigade Comd and Chairman Show I knew…. it still brought tears to my eyes.
I’ll always remember your personal touch. How you asked about the well-being of my men after they stayed up for nights helping with HBOI after getting into a series of LSV accidents even before the Bde exercise started. The troops and commanders were so stressed …. I felt pressured to complete the component training before the Bde FTX. Then u came along and spoke to me in the field “its ok… lower your expectations… pace yourself…. speak to your men and let them rest”. I was expecting a scolding from you that I screwed up badly even before the exercise started… but received an encouragement instead. You wouldn’t know just what that meant to me at that time….it was what you called a “defining moment” for me. I took your advice…. began the Bde FTX without completing a single company mission exercise… and to my surprise, the guys performed marvelously and even aced a 2-sided battle. I told the guys that their Bde Comd cares and believes in them….it took a huge weight off their shoulders and lifted their spirits.
As many have said, your quotes are unbelievable…. more is being said and taught thru them than anything else. Every meeting you chaired was a learning moment. The PSOs were always amazed at where you got your ideas from….”10 spokes of the wheel of change”…..”seek justice, but love mercy”…..”to command, is life’s greatest emotion”. BTW, thks for sharing your CO guidances ….with your classic quotes again in them…tacbooks etc with me.
I’m happy to report that this website has become a “gem” of testimonies that continues to tell others of how you walked with God…. and what He meant to you. And like old wine….its getting better with age.
Thks for being our example, thks for being my mentor
James
“Sayumi Force” Commander
PS> Ever since you named my block force after my daughter’s name, many of the Bde staff in 03′ still remembers me by that name….and you as the one who gave that “cheeky” idea.
April 29, 2011 at 3:51 am |
Thanks to all you wonderful people, sharing your moments with Bernard with us.
As we are still celebrating the period Easter, visiting the blog, reading all your stories. is akin to the Lord saying to me, your brother lives because he is with Me.
And James, what serendipity you use ‘gem’. i told Cayla that she is a gem and she asked “what is gem??” Must get her to come read your post:)
May 21, 2011 at 5:43 pm |
Cheow Han n I were classmates in St Andrew’s secondary school. CH already out shined the rest of us at that time.. Didn’t keep in contact with CH after that, but somehow still was kept abreast of his achievements. Was at CH’s wake and was tremendously encouraged by the many eulogies shared. We are proud of U, Cheow Han! PTL
May 27, 2011 at 5:54 am |
hi han just feeling very woo-liau so am now sitting on the green chair you used to sit and eat my maggie noodle whenever you work late with no dinner hahaha. It’s one of those days when i am at home the whole day with plenty of time to kill and reminisce. Hmmm i’m feeling better already.
June 3, 2011 at 4:55 am |
What Is There After This Life? (Part 1)
ROME, JUNE 2, 2011 (Zenit.org).- Is there such a thing as life after death? Is the claim that humans can live forever in perfect bliss after death not a meaningless exaggeration? Would it not be more realistic to say that humans simply disappear at the end of their lives? Is it not grossly unfair to claim that those who have sinned in this life will suffer grievously forever?
In this interview with ZENIT, Father O’Callaghan discusses the scope of his textbook and he offers an overview of the field of eschatology, which is the study of the four last things — death, judgment, heaven and hell.
ZENIT: Why did you write this book?
Father O’Callaghan: I’ve been teaching the subject for nearly 25 years. So the time had come to put pen to paper. It took me longer than I thought it would to write it. Eschatology is a complex and ample subject, or at least has become so in the last century.
Some years ago, in a hospital waiting room, a woman said to me: “My father died last year.” It was obvious she remembered him fondly. And she asked: “Where is he now?” It just did not seem possible to her that a person she loved, someone who had given her life, would just disappear off the face of the earth. I think this simple incident brought me to be very attentive to the anthropological implications of eschatology.
Some Christians are afraid to speak about the “last things.” This is understandable since it is not easy to describe in detail what the afterlife consists of. But people are looking for answers, often desperately so. They’re looking for something to give them hope, to keep them going, to make love meaningful, to make life worth living.
ZENIT: Benedict XVI is particularly sensitive to issues related to eschatology
Father O’Callaghan: The Holy Father’s encyclical “Spe Salvi” came out in 2007, when I was writing the book, and I used it throughout. …. “Spe Salvi” very openly admits that for many people nowadays the promise of eternal life is unattractive. They’re interested in this life, not the next life, which for many is considered as a source of eternal boredom. And since they don’t hope, they don’t believe. ….. In Christianity, on earth we can “store up treasure in heaven” (Mark 10:21). The provisional character of human life inculcated by different versions of reincarnationism does the exact opposite. ……..
Christian hope is the fruit of God’s action and promise. It’s not our doing. Our task as Christians is to open ourselves to God saving action, for eternal life consists principally of God’s life in us. Theologians call this “divinization.” Matthew expresses it as follows: “Enter into the joy of your master” (25:23). After all, hope is what’s called a “theological virtue,” not only in that’s it’s directed toward God, but is infused by God into the human heart.
ZENIT: I see you pay a lot of attention to Scriptural issue.
Father O’Callaghan: Eschatology is based on the divine promise, which is revealed to us mainly through Scripture, and principally in the life, words and work of Jesus Christ, God’s Word and Son, our Lord and Savior. The Fathers of the Church developed their eschatology also on the basis of Scripture, and I gave prominence to their writings as well. I attempted to apply to Scriptural texts a strictly theological hermeneutic, indeed a Christological hermeneutic.
ZENIT: That’s a big word, “hermeneutic.”
Father O’Callaghan: Indeed. It needs some explanation. Literally, hermeneutic means “interpretation.” Two examples may suffice to explain it. The first example is as follows. When we read in the New Testament that those who die confirmed in sin will be condemned for all eternity, immediately we begin to ask: but what does this mean? Could it be that Jesus was just provoking his disciples to react decisively to his message, to convert, to make up their minds once and for all? This was the understanding of Origen and others.
Obviously, Jesus achieved the conversion he sought, but I don’t think this was the primary purpose of these statements, because he moved his followers to conversion not through fear and harshness, but by love and mercy. I think Jesus meant just what he said: that those who persevere in their infidelity to the end of their lives will be lost forever. This is such a serious issue, such a real possibility, that he was prepared to give up his life to save us from sin. God gives more weight to human freedom than we do at times.
The second example. On several occasions, Jesus said he will raise humans up on “the last day.” Some authors have felt embarrassed at these texts, seeing in them the danger of crass materialistic interpretations of revelation. The biblical exegete Rudolf Bultmann said that the resurrection of Jesus took place as he died on the cross, and our resurrection would be of a kind. Resurrection therefore must be considered as a purely spiritual reality, linked with our baptismal conversion from sin. ………
Pray and ask Our Lord of Wisdom:)
June 25, 2011 at 5:04 pm |
Hey koo!
Pher finally got married today! He was such a blast as usual. But I’m sure u know that coz you were watching on from above. I mean the rain that stopped right after mass and cooled the air for lunch reception? Pure genius!
Really missed u loads during dinner. Can’t help but imagine u yum-senging with us! You might have even saboed pher or something, heh. But it was nice when pher suggested a toast to u. I nearly cried not just from the rush of missing u and wishing u were here but just honoured to count u as family, and touched and inspired that you’re still such a large part of our lives and memories.
Till we meet – not too long I hope.
Oh yes, and pls talk some sense into ah Ma ya?
August 10, 2011 at 2:05 am |
Dear Ah Han Chek, I am indeed married as SM mentioned. Our wedding was at Merchant Court. Brings back lots of memories. I remembed this was the place where we met many years ago when I was still in NS, and I still remember that day cos of your tremendous gesture.Missed you at the wedding, especially during the tea ceremony when we were serving tea to Un chim.. someone asked me afterward why I was tearing, but they wouldn’t have understood.. Anyway, I hope you heard our toast to you at the dinner. See you soon.
September 22, 2011 at 2:17 pm |
Hi Koo, missing you loads… Just watched the movie Charlie St Cloud, and couldn’t help but think of you. One of the scenes / lines in the movie tore at my heart, where Sam (who died) assured and told his bro (who was still alive) that “he wished he could see him… in his new and glorious state…. That it hurts coz he’s still alive…” Sigh. It’s not that I’m thinking of joining you over there… But yeah, it just hurts coz I miss you looooads.
Anyway, since i’m posting this, thought i’ll post something from my emotional will… the project that ah kim got me involved in. I dedicated the will to manda, coz she would probably be the best person to carry out my wishes, pass on my messages and ‘take over’ my responsibilities and roles that i play to our loved ones… at least i trust that she will and that she’s the best person to ‘replace’ me.
There’s a question in the emotional will that reads: Did you know this? The most important thing in the world to me is…
And my response:
Family. All 6 of you – mum, dad, you, ah kim and the girls.
After koo died, we all felt a huge void in our lives. And in the lowest moments when I’m missing him, I would ask God to take me so that I could be there with him. And for a long time, I felt that way… Like living in this realm, missing him, not being able to see him cut really deep, and I wanted to be with him, see him, hear him laugh and laugh at him all over again.
But… I knew that I had to be to the girls, what koo was to me, to us (you and i). And that gave me strength, purpose.. Fetching the girls to school, baby sitting, making them laugh, teaching them, helping them with homework, playing with them, buying birthday gifts and throwing surprise parties… And then I thought about what would happen if I WERE to go… Or if ANY of us were to go for that matter, and I realised that that would leave a greater void in each other’s lives, and so I realised that I needed to start living for the people here… And now. And so, honestly, family is what keeps me going, is what gives me purpose in life. Know that all of you have a deep and special place in my heart, and thank you for giving me a place in yours.
Missing you always.
Mying.
October 14, 2011 at 2:51 am |
Alone with none but thee, my God,
i journey on my way;
What need i fear, when thou art near,
O King of night and day?
More safe am i within thy hand,
Than if a host did round me stand.
My destined time is fixed by thee,
And death doth know his hour.
Did warriors strong around me throng,
They could not stay his power;
No walls of stone can man defend
When thou thy messenger dost send
My life i yield to thy decree,
And bow to thy control
In peaceful calm, for from thine arm
No power can wrest my soul
Could earthly omens e’er appal
A man that heeds the heavenly call!
The child of God can fear no ill,
His chosen dread no foe;
We leave our fate with thee, and wait
Thy bidding when to go.
‘Tis not from chance our comfort springs,
Thou are our trust, O King of kings
October 28, 2011 at 4:09 am |
hi han, when “Revival” popped from my i-pod, there’s this deep feeling of joy that surges through my soul. Hmmm my soul.
i was listening to the retreat talks on uiversal call to contemplative prayer by frThomas Dubay on my i-pod and he was on eternal life and the wonders and magnificence of it if only we knew and you came flooding into my thoughts and it gave me hope, me reminiscing our time together and then i heard Revival – it brought back memories of us singing in your car – all packed into one, how crazy we were of this album.
thanks han, for praying and i thank our Lord too for His generosity and His ever-presence in our lives
November 14, 2011 at 2:28 am |
A reflection from Henri Nouwen – Bread for the Journey
In Memory of Jesus and the Saints
Belonging to the communion of saints means being connected with all people transformed by the Spirit of Jesus. This connection is deep and intimate. Those who have lived as brothers and sisters of Jesus continue to live within us, even though they have died, just as Jesus continues to live within us, even though he has died.
We live our lives in memory of Jesus and the saints, and this memory is a real presence. Jesus and his saints are part of our most intimate and spiritual knowledge of God.
They inspire us, guide us, encourage us, and give us hope. They are the source of our constant transformation. Yes, we carry them in our bodies and thus keep them alive for all with whom we live and work.
January 15, 2012 at 2:42 am |
Been a year since I visited here… Time flies real fast… Remember we always talked about the light at the end of tunnel… You had always taught me find it and make it my guiding light in life or at work. I have reached the end of the tunnel (or it seems). It will be the best 2 years of my life in my new environment. Enough of bitching about the issues and finally do something to make a difference.
Tks for making a difference in my life.
Miss you sir…
January 19, 2012 at 3:55 am |
Life, you cannot ever tempt me
with your glamour and your glow.
You are but a plate of distraction,
and I still have far to go.
I have seen your different faces,
hear your many tones of voice.
But, how I live depends on me,
because I have no other choice.
Life, your arms are cold and empty
and your words do not ring true.
But, I have found a gentle Master
who loves me more than you.
I am done with foolish yearnings
for the things I cannot keep.
There is no more senseless searching,
no more crying in my sleep.
I have scars to show my failings
and the wrong turns I took.
But, God did not forsake me,
though the very mountains shook.
And when my days are over
and all the shadows dim,
I’ll close my eyes and take his hand
and leave the rest to Him!”
There is always someone who cares
and bears a love for you.
Someone unseen,
but near your side in all you ever do.
Someone to comfort and console
your sorrow and your despair.
Someone to give your strength and hope
and all your burdens share.
January 23, 2012 at 11:25 am |
Listening to Pachebel’s Canon at the moment and this always brings back memories of you. Actually, its several versions of Pachebel’s Canon; Cleo Laine’s vocals, James Galway’s flute and the orchestral exuberance of your favourite conductor; Herbert Von Karajan.
I have read the contributions to this memorial many times but never submitted any. I have an opinion that I have not been that close to you as others have. But like the authors here, we have not released you from our hearts.
Why do we still yearn to communicate with you? Because in our daily travails in Life, our struggles and accomplishments, we find that there is Bernard Tan in our inspirations.
February 8, 2012 at 3:32 pm |
Hi sir,
My communications lecturer Mr David Yew at Nanyang Biz School brought me back to this page today. He related that he served under you when you were a PC (probably decades ago). He still remembered you as a remarkably inspiring and charismatic figure… and of course the poem you often recited before commencing a mission: “If you forget everything, just remember this. We shall descend as eagles, move as swift as gazelles, we will fight as lions. For at the end of the day, all that you see is the settling of the dust…and all that you hear…is the howling of the wind.” Quite a few of my CSC course mates could vividly recall your poem as well. It was nice to reminisce about you again….and nice to encounter others on the journey of life who has been touched by you in one way or another
Thks for being our inspiration!